Monday, June 29, 2009

Being Mean Is Never An Option

Today At The Well, we are talking about mean girls. Were you ever one of those? I know for a long time I was. From the time I was in 1st grade until about 4th grade, I was picked on unmercifully. I didn't wear designer clothes, my teeth were really crooked, and I was just not very pretty.

This gave all these kids back then the fuel to make fun of me. Some of their comments were very, very mean and some were not so bad. One day I finally had enough when one of the girls on the bus kept slapping me in the back of the head. I threw my books down and beat her up. I had totally and completely had enough. Afterwards, I felt horrible. I had never in my life beaten anyone up or been mean at all.

From that point on, I got a "reputation" of being a mean girl. It was just one fight, but it stuck with me all through school. When I was in junior high, I made sure that people knew just how mean I could be. I bullied girls who were different than me, and threatened anyone who looked like they could not take up for themselves. I stayed in trouble quite a bit for food fights and bullying.

I am amazed at the transformation that has happened to me since then. No longer am I the girl who hates. Now I am the girl. . . the woman, who loves with the love of the Lord. It feels good to not harbor all that hatred and bitterness in my heart.

A few years ago, I had the opportunity to teach my daughter the importance of not becoming a mean girl. She was in 3rd grade and was at a new school. She had just learned to make friends and was becoming quite popular in class when one girl decided that Kayla needed to be taught a lesson. This other girl looked like a 7th grader in a 3rd grader class. Every day, Kayla would come home and tell me how this girl had picked on her and called her names and was just being downright mean. Kayla asked me how she was supposed to handle this kind of situation. My first instinct was to beat that girl up. But I felt the Lord speak to my heart and tell her to "turn the other cheek".

I explained to her that this girl might feel awkward because she was so much bigger than all the other girls in class. This was her way of letting people know that she was not going to be made fun on. I told Kayla that she had probably been teased alot about her size. I gave Kayla a challenge that day. I told her, "why not go out of your way to be nice to her and make her your friend." We both agreed that this was the best idea.

I can honestly tell you that it only took three days for that girl to notice that Kayla was sincere in her offering of her friendship. She immediately quit making fun of Kayla and they became the best of friends. It is amazing how when God steps into a situation, that He can change the outcome. This day, Kayla saw firsthand, how the love of the Father can truly make a difference when we allow Him to.

God's ways are so much higher than our own. Since I have been saved, I have clung to the verse that says revengence is mine says the Lord. He fights my battles. He gets revenge. My job is to love and serve those who need it the most. Let's all reap a few fiery coals today.


Elizabeth said...

I am so glad that He fights our battles for us...thank you for diligently teaching your daughter not to be one of the mean girls, but how to show the love of, she won't grow up to be an adult mean girl! Praise the Lord for our daughters, and the chance to show them a better way then perhaps we ourselves had taken. God is good!

shopannies said...

my daughter was picked on did not make her a mean girl but a hateful spiteful fearful one that we have worked on for years slowly crackig that shell thanks for sharing

Joyfull said...

Thank you for sharing so openly today. How wonderful the beautiful lessons you taught your daughter and for sharing the difference the love of the Lord can make in our lives.

Beth.. One Blessed Nana said...

I never could understand why some people just loved to pick on others. It always hurt my heart for the ones that got made fun of.

I am so glad that in Christ, we are all one and the same.

LAURIE said...

Thank you for sharing from your heart today on this topic of "mean girls". I have also had many life teaching moments with my teen daughter, instilling Gods Word and Gods plan for her relationships. blessings to you Jennifer. -Laurie

Beth in NC said...

That is a wonderful testimony of God's way versus our way! I love it. Thank you for sharing with us!