Lately I have been warring spiritually within myself. I hate when I get like this. I spend the better part of my day beating myself up for lack of spending time with God.
Since school started back, I have barely picked up my Bible. I admit this to you, because I am ashamed that I have put the Father on the backburner, while I spend time on the computer, teach school, work, and watch television. To put it plainly, I have laid my time with Him on the shelf, while I selfishly go about my day.
I hate myself when I do these things. To be honest, I miss Him, terribly. When I know I should be reading, I find myself working, telling the Lord, "But God, I have to get this done." He doesn't buy it and everytime that I put Him off for something else, I can see His countenace on his face. It looks like mine when I ask my children if they want to do something with me and I hear, "No, not right now. I am busy." My heart sinks, and I go away sad. . .just like God does when I put Him off.
I have decided that from this day further, nothing else is going to get in between me and my time with God. Work will have to wait, the television will be turned off, and the kids can do most of their schooling without me anyway. I HAVE to have this time with God. I CRAVE it like it is my life breath. Without it, I sink. I drown. I die a slow agonizing death inside.
What about you? What are you choosing to do instead of spending time with God? Stop right now what you are doing, and go meet Him in that special place, the one carved out for just you and Him.