Today At The Well, we are talking about the seasons of our lives. I am amazed every single day at how God confirms things for us and this is another one of those moments when I realize God is giving me confirmation for this new season He is bringing me in.
I have been a Christian now for 10 years(this past Sept 19th). I still have a hard time believing that it has been ten years since He called my name and asked me to follow Him. During that ten years I have devoted myself to serving inside the church in so many ways; children's ministry, Vacation Bible School, choir, praise team, children's leader, drama leader, Creative Ministries team, Prison ministry. . . I could go on and on. During this ten years though, God has been calling me to do something else though that I have just completely and totally ignored, simply because I never felt worthy enough to accept this calling....writing a book for the Lord.
When I accepted my position with The Old Schoolhouse last October, I never realized that this was another step in the direction that the Lord was leading me in. He is using my marketing skills and writing skills with Econobusters and The Old Schoolhouse to mold and shape my writing for this book He has called me to write.
I am at a season I have never been in before. I felt the Lord leading me last month to take six months off from everything I do at church to focus on Him and the writing I am to be doing. For a person whose worth is found in what people think of her, THIS is the hardest season of my life I have ever been in. I want to be busy doing because that is who I am. In fact, I came home from church and cried yesterday because there are needs in our church that I could be fulfilling, but yet I hear God telling me NO. He needs me right now...all my attention, not just half of it.
This season for me is so scary. I hate rejection. I know when I finish this book in April that when I send it off, there will be rejection. But I have to know that God will find the right publisher for me, and that I must trust Him during this time. Trust is such a hard thing for me. This new season is requiring so much of me that I have never given before. I feel like I am standing on a diving board ready to jump off into the world with nothing underneath me. I feel like my breath has been knocked completely out of me.
Change. It is so frightening, but yet exhilirating all at the same time. If God is moving you into a different season, like me, don't fight it. Accept the change and all that God has for you. In the end is a blessing bigger than you could ever imagine. I myself, cannot wait to see what God is going to do with this new season of my life.