Today At The Well, we are talking about the seasons of our lives. I am amazed every single day at how God confirms things for us and this is another one of those moments when I realize God is giving me confirmation for this new season He is bringing me in.
I have been a Christian now for 10 years(this past Sept 19th). I still have a hard time believing that it has been ten years since He called my name and asked me to follow Him. During that ten years I have devoted myself to serving inside the church in so many ways; children's ministry, Vacation Bible School, choir, praise team, children's leader, drama leader, Creative Ministries team, Prison ministry. . . I could go on and on. During this ten years though, God has been calling me to do something else though that I have just completely and totally ignored, simply because I never felt worthy enough to accept this calling....writing a book for the Lord.
When I accepted my position with The Old Schoolhouse last October, I never realized that this was another step in the direction that the Lord was leading me in. He is using my marketing skills and writing skills with Econobusters and The Old Schoolhouse to mold and shape my writing for this book He has called me to write.
I am at a season I have never been in before. I felt the Lord leading me last month to take six months off from everything I do at church to focus on Him and the writing I am to be doing. For a person whose worth is found in what people think of her, THIS is the hardest season of my life I have ever been in. I want to be busy doing because that is who I am. In fact, I came home from church and cried yesterday because there are needs in our church that I could be fulfilling, but yet I hear God telling me NO. He needs me right now...all my attention, not just half of it.
This season for me is so scary. I hate rejection. I know when I finish this book in April that when I send it off, there will be rejection. But I have to know that God will find the right publisher for me, and that I must trust Him during this time. Trust is such a hard thing for me. This new season is requiring so much of me that I have never given before. I feel like I am standing on a diving board ready to jump off into the world with nothing underneath me. I feel like my breath has been knocked completely out of me.
Change. It is so frightening, but yet exhilirating all at the same time. If God is moving you into a different season, like me, don't fight it. Accept the change and all that God has for you. In the end is a blessing bigger than you could ever imagine. I myself, cannot wait to see what God is going to do with this new season of my life.
3 comments:
Jennifer, the thing with me is knowing what season God has called me into but have been slack in following His leading. I do know that God wont move me on until I'm completely obedient.
Time for me to re-focus on what matters most then everything around me will fall into place.
I'll be praying for you to be led to the right publisher. This is such an exciting journey and adventure for you. God Bless as you keep on in His will.
"Trust is such a hard thing for me." This is me too! It is hard to trust sometimes. But, God promises us that all things will work together for our good. I sometimes am constantly reminding myself of that promise!
Thanks for sharing!
-Ashley
I know exactly what you mean when you talk about wanting to be busy doing things, and basing self worth on what others think. I have struggled with that for so long, self condemnation. My husband has helped me, along with others, to see that it is not about the works. It is about being obedient, it is about relationship, it is not about working for Him, but working WITH Him. The truth is, there are so many who can fulfill the roles in church, but very few who can truly get the message across, be His Voice.
All my life, I have received prophetic words that I have a Merry heart, and that He sees me as Mary, a woman who is at His feet, listening to His words. Even as a child. It is so funny to me, because more than anything I have been a moper, I am a Martha, even judging others for not trying to "work as hard as I am".
In my eyes, I am not doing something unless I am DOING something. But there is one thing I have learned, and that is I can be doing all these things, but if I do not have love, they are worth nothing. I long to be at His feet and hear His voice, and so BE His voice to those who have ears. And through intimacy, I know that I will be transformed. This does not in any means signify that i should sit in a room and do nothing but play worship music. It is seeking Him out daily, being obedient to His voice, serving not because it is your obligation but because you are compelled by the love He has placed in you.
I didn't mean to write so much. I thank God for His sovereignty in guiding me to The Well. (i was looking for a recipe for left over rice, and i landed on on "she looketh well" website. just so happens i am leading women's meeting in a few weeks and i felt the Lord wants to deal on the topic of marriage, so these websites are really helping)
Thank you
Jasmine
Post a Comment