Monday, January 18, 2010

Selfishness in Marriage

As I told you in an earlier post last week, I have been going through some things. I am happy to say that I believe the worst has passed and I am now on the backside of this torrential feeling of despair I had. And it is all thanks to the Lord and His wonderful word that I am now able to rise above these feelings.
Last week, I started going through one of those times when I felt unappreciated for all I do around here. You know the times I am talking about—the ones where we start telling ourselves,
  • They did not say thank you for that.”
  • If I have to pick up another towel, I am going to scream.”
  • I am not a live-in maid.”
  • “What about me? What about what I want to do for a change?”
I am sure you have uttered those words a few times in your life and marriage. I kept telling myself these things and before you know it, selfishness had reared its ugly head. This time was worse than any other time I have ever gone through this phase.
Yesterday, while we were out, I had time to think about how I had made my man feel, how crushed his face had looked as I spewed the words out of my mouth, “You just don’t really care about me do you?” We had a really bad argument the day before and those were the last words I said to him before I stormed out of the room. The realization of what I had said and done to him came crashing down on me hard yesterday and I felt sick to my stomach that I had caused him that much pain just by uttering those horrible words.
But as always, God gently lifts me up and dusts me off. He gives me strong discipline and then shows me in His word what was going on. This is the verse He laid before my heart this morning as I was reading:
One who isolates himself pursues selfish desire; he rebels against all sound judgment.~Proverbs 18:1
You think that verse says it all? God did not stop there. My next phase in The Love Dare is about a selfish attitude. God gave me a couple of good nuggets from this chapter to chew on as well:
A loving wife is not overly sensitive or cranky, but exercises emotional self-control. She chooses to be a flower among the thorns and respond pleasantly during prickly situations.
Being easily angered is an indicator that a hidden area of selfishness or insecurity is present where love is supposed to rule.
God has a way of bringing into the light what we refuse to want to see. I am so glad that He lovingly guided me to read His word this morning and share with me what has been going on with me. I have repented about my attitude of selfishness and asked forgiveness from God and my man and we are now back in right standing with each other.
If you seem to be going through the same thing, please seek God’s word and what He has to say about how you are feeling. He will most definitely share with you and help guide you into a humble heart and right spirit again.
This week, as I practice this step, I urge you to practice it as well. Where you usually find yourself being easily angered, begin to notice those times and ask yourself—what is the underlying issue here? Don’t be like me and hold it all in. Talk the Lord about how you are feeling and then share with your spouse how you are feeling. Don’t keep it bottled up.
Family thought for the day: Love your husband like you love Jesus and all will be right with the world.

1 comment:

Kela said...

... and as tough as it is, we, as wives, have to remember that our husbands truly are a gift to us. Its our choice in how we receive such a precious offering. What a challenge!!