Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Love Dare Update

Instead of treating your wife or husband like an enemy or someone to be guarded against, start by treating them as your closest, most honored friend. Give their words full weight.

No, you won't always see eye-to-eye. You are not supposed to be carbon copies of each other. If you were, one of you would be unnecessary. Two people who always share the same opinions and perspectives won't have any balance or or flavor to enhance their relationship. Rather your differences are for listening to and learning from.             ~Day 12, The Love Dare

I am finding that the more time I spend reading this book, the more love I feel for my husband. The abounding love I already have for him has just grown more by continuing to read and practice the dares in this book.

The little excerpt that I shared with you at the top really spoke to me today. For the longest time, I have felt like I had to agree with everything Stephen wanted to do or wanted period. But I am finding out that even he doesn't want me to agree all the time. He wants to know how I feel, what I think, my opinions on things. I don't even know where I got the idea that he wanted me to agree all the time?

I love what The Kendrick Brothers say about always agreeing and saying the same things. God puts us together as opposites most of the time to help us learn to be who He made us to be. Instead of being a parrot who is afraid to share her thoughts and opinions, I am to share my heart with my mate, regardless of whether it agrees with what he said or not (all in love--let me say that).

Then I began to think about whether I treated him as my closest friend. For the most part I try, but with my closest friends, I don't try to bully my way to get what I want, I don't argue with them until I get my point across, and I don't try to manipulate so that I can get my way. But with Stephen, I find myself doing those things sometimes. I have now decided that he is my closest friend--always. When the kids are gone, others are gone, he and I will be all that is left. I don't want to have to learn how to live life over again with a man I have been married to for over half my life. I want to already have that relationship with him so that when we are all by ourselves, we can begin to enjoy each other at that very moment as a couple of empty nester parents!

Most people just breeze right through this book, but not me. I am taking in each day, savoring what is being shared, pondering on its meaning and how I can apply it to my own marriage. It is well worth soaking in.

I am always so grateful for the people that God put in my life to help show me what true marriage is all about. From my parents, down to my counselors and friends (you know who you are)--these people have made a world of difference in how I view life with my husband.

What about you? Where are you at in your marriage?

1 comment:

Kela said...

Sweet lady, you know where I am in my marriage. We chat about it almost daily :)

God is so good. What I see in my husband is tons of love for me...
What others see in us is a love that's golden. I'd say that that's true! We have what others have expressed that they wish they had in their marriage. I should never have any complaints, right? LOL