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Lately I have been really unhappy. Not with just myself, but with my kids, my life, and especially my marriage. When I would look at my husband, all I would see was the fact that he was not making me happy like I thought he should. Notice what I said--like I thought he should.
I have been complaining a lot to God lately about the fact that I felt like he was not meeting my needs, he was becoming emotionally detached from me, and that our marriage was floundering. Let's face it--I was a serious pity party in the making.
But then God reminded me that I was relying on Stephen to fill me with joy. It is not my husband's place to fill me with joy. That is what I get from following the Lord and serving Him, spending time with Him, and leaning on Him for--not my husband. God pointed out to me that while I was busy groaning and complaining to Him about my husband that I had yet to pick up my Bible the last couple of weeks because we have been kind of busy. He also pointed out to me that I was allowing my emotions to rule my heart.
Then it really hit me what the problem is and was--I have been doing a lot of reading lately in the Christian fiction books and while those books are great reads (who doesn't love being transported to a different place and time) they can cause you to look at your spouse in a negative way. So I put them aside for right now. I finally picked up my Bible and realized this truth again:
Psalm 16: 11~You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
In His presence is where I find joy, peace, and rest. It is also where I find the right heart to look at my life with. It is then that I realize I am truly happy.
2 comments:
I can totally relate to your emotions lately. I had to stop reading Christian fiction (especially historical romance) when I was a younger wife. LOL! It totally skews my perception of reality.
I warn my teen of the same thing, when she's been reading too much fiction ... her expectations for her life become unrealistic, and disappointment follows.
Escaping into fiction is fun, when it is kept under control, though. :-)
April E.
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/elcloud
I've talked to you about what I was dealing with with reading others marriage blog posts continuously. As I read what was wrong in others marriages, I started to see some of those same things in my man and it wasn't even right.
Satan has a way of creeping on in there. I heard Joyce Meyer say, "The devil isn't looking for open doors, he's looking for any little crack he can slither his way into."
As I've said many times when thinking about my relationship with my husband (and others)...my perception is my reality, BUT...is it true?
I've been caught up in the trap of relying on my man for my emotional stability. God quickly reminds me that HE is my all in all.
I'm glad that you're coming into the knowledge of what I think you knew all along! <3 ya!!
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