Over the past few weeks at church, my pastor has been talking about our spiritual gifts. Yesterday we took an inventory to find out exactly what those gifts are.
I was really excited, because I did not find out anything new, but I did get confirmation that I am heading in the right direction of where God wants me to go spiritually. I found out that my strongest spiritual gift is writing. I was really excited to see that one because I KNOW I am supposed to write. I have known that since the day I gave my heart to the Lord, but to get a real confirmation that this is one of my spiritual gifts was such a blessing to me.
I also got confirmation that singing for the Lord is another of my gifts. I have always said that I cannot sing very well, but when I do, I always have people come and tell me how the song ministered to them in a way that no other words could. I usually sing during prison ministry with my husband. I love to sing for God!
And then, the survey said I have the gift of leadership. I am one of those people who knows how to formulate an ending solution to a problem. I can see it, visualize it, and then make it happen. That is just who I am whether I want to be or not.
Have you ever taken spiritual inventory of your gifts? There are many tests and places on the Internet that you can do this to find out for sure what your gift is. You don't ever want to be in a position where you are working for the Lord, that you were never intended to be. For one, you are doing something outside of God's will, and two, you are taking someone's spot that has that gift to do that particular thing.
I am so excited that my pastor decided to teach on this subject. Take the time to start searching for your gifts. It will help you to head in the direction that God wants you to go.
Showing posts with label devotions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label devotions. Show all posts
Monday, August 31, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
A Wife In Training
This week At The Well, we are talking about how we treat our husbands when they come home from work. I love this topic! I love it simply because I try to do my best to model who I am as a wife by what the Word of God says about how I should treat my man.
Chelsey posted some tips from a 1950's Home Economics textbook. In fact, these guidelines line up with the Bible perfectly! The more I got to thinking about these tips, the more I realize I was born in the wrong era (LOL)!
The main thing to remember is that your husband is the head of the home. Make him feel like a king. I know that in my own home, when I treat my man with any kind of disrespect it does not go over well and we wind up fighting or arguing over really dumb things. I want there to be peace in our house.
Here is an example of treating your man with respect. Since my husband went back to work, I decided that evey morning I was going to get up and fix him a hot meal so he can start his day out right. I fix his lunch for him and have it ready sitting on the table when he comes home from lunch so he has his whole thirty minutes to eat. During that time, I sit down and talk to him. I am not up running around and acting crazy. I am giving him my undivided attention during that time. When he comes home from work, I make sure the house is traight, supper is cooking, and that he has a glass of tea waiting by his favorite chair.
I don't do these things for brownie points with him or with God. I do these things because I love my husband and I want him to feel special. One night while we were talking, he shared with me about how special those small things made him feel. He said, "You don't know how much I appreciate all those things you do for me." That statement alone was appreciation enough for everything that I do for him.
What are you doing for your husband today? Do you make him feel useless? Is your house chaos when he comes home? Does he feel the need to leave to find some peace? A man's home should be a place of rest! Be sure and read those tips from the 1950's textbook. I realized all along I had been doing the right thing because of the Holy Spirit and NOT because someone else said I needed to do these things!
Chelsey posted some tips from a 1950's Home Economics textbook. In fact, these guidelines line up with the Bible perfectly! The more I got to thinking about these tips, the more I realize I was born in the wrong era (LOL)!
The main thing to remember is that your husband is the head of the home. Make him feel like a king. I know that in my own home, when I treat my man with any kind of disrespect it does not go over well and we wind up fighting or arguing over really dumb things. I want there to be peace in our house.
Here is an example of treating your man with respect. Since my husband went back to work, I decided that evey morning I was going to get up and fix him a hot meal so he can start his day out right. I fix his lunch for him and have it ready sitting on the table when he comes home from lunch so he has his whole thirty minutes to eat. During that time, I sit down and talk to him. I am not up running around and acting crazy. I am giving him my undivided attention during that time. When he comes home from work, I make sure the house is traight, supper is cooking, and that he has a glass of tea waiting by his favorite chair.
I don't do these things for brownie points with him or with God. I do these things because I love my husband and I want him to feel special. One night while we were talking, he shared with me about how special those small things made him feel. He said, "You don't know how much I appreciate all those things you do for me." That statement alone was appreciation enough for everything that I do for him.
What are you doing for your husband today? Do you make him feel useless? Is your house chaos when he comes home? Does he feel the need to leave to find some peace? A man's home should be a place of rest! Be sure and read those tips from the 1950's textbook. I realized all along I had been doing the right thing because of the Holy Spirit and NOT because someone else said I needed to do these things!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Do I Leave Or Do I Stay?
If you missed last week's installment of this story, you can check that out here.
Ten years ago this September will be the day that God helped me make the best decision I ever made. That decision was to give my life and marriage to Him. At first, I did not give my marriage to Him, but I gave Him myself. In doing so, it helped me to grow close to God first and then I could grow close to Stephen.
I remember saying out loud that last weekend that I was my own person that these three people in my life--Stephen, Robert, and Kayla--they could all just have each other. I wanted a life that was free to be me, free to go and do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. God had other plans though and I am so glad that He did. However, this was only the beginning to the biggest battle I would ever face in my life.
Have you ever had to do something so horrible, and you were uncertain about the outcome of what you had to do? That was exactly how I felt two weeks after giving my life to Christ. God gave me exactly two weeks to get my feet wet in His word, and then He hit me with a Louisville Slugger bat the size of Texas. The first time I ever heard His voice so clear as if He were standing in front of me was the most profound. God spoke to my heart and said, " I want you to confess to your husband all your indescretions--everything." I laughed so hard at God that my sides hurt. I completely and TOTALLY refused to do this. I knew that if I told Stephen all of the horrible things I had done, he would for sure leave me high and dry and I had just gotten used to the idea of being married. I did not want to be single.
I ignored God for about two more weeks, but during that time He made sure I was completely and totally miserable. I made mistakes in the bank account, I got into trouble at work which is something I would never ever do! And then, He whispered to my heart....it's time--tell him. I went to my friend and told her how *crazy* all this was. Do you know what her response to me was? If God is asking you to do this, then you need to do it. GULP! I just was not ready to do this. I cried, I prayed, I begged, I pleaded. . .but all of this fell into God's lap without one single solitary bit of approval from God. He refused to talk any further about it with me. He had given me something to do and until I got it done, He would not talk to me anymore.
Feeling defeated, I told Stephen that I needed to talk to him in private. We sat down that evening and I poured my heart out like I had never done before. I had no idea if he would leave when I got done or if he would hate me or what, but I had to be obedient to God. After I was done, I felt totally exhausted and spent. Stephen sat there in silence for what seemed like hours, but was only a few minutes. He got up and walked out of the room without saying a word to me. I silently cried as I thought about how much he probably hated me at this moment. I couldn't say that I blame him. I mean, I had defiled our marriage bed numerous times and then expected him to still love me and be my husband.
After about an hour he came back in the room. He carried with him his Bible. He sat down and told me that he had been praying and talking to God. He said, "I forgive you. I can't say that I love you very much right now, but I forgive you." I felt a sense of relief. He did not say I love you, but he said he forgave me. That was a start. I knew that he wasn't leaving and neither was I. Where in the world would we go from here?
Since this post is a little long, I am going to extend this story into a couple of more posts so that you can truly understand the reason I am so adamant about husbands and wives giving their marriage to God. I will post another part of this story tomorrow.
Ten years ago this September will be the day that God helped me make the best decision I ever made. That decision was to give my life and marriage to Him. At first, I did not give my marriage to Him, but I gave Him myself. In doing so, it helped me to grow close to God first and then I could grow close to Stephen.
I remember saying out loud that last weekend that I was my own person that these three people in my life--Stephen, Robert, and Kayla--they could all just have each other. I wanted a life that was free to be me, free to go and do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. God had other plans though and I am so glad that He did. However, this was only the beginning to the biggest battle I would ever face in my life.
Have you ever had to do something so horrible, and you were uncertain about the outcome of what you had to do? That was exactly how I felt two weeks after giving my life to Christ. God gave me exactly two weeks to get my feet wet in His word, and then He hit me with a Louisville Slugger bat the size of Texas. The first time I ever heard His voice so clear as if He were standing in front of me was the most profound. God spoke to my heart and said, " I want you to confess to your husband all your indescretions--everything." I laughed so hard at God that my sides hurt. I completely and TOTALLY refused to do this. I knew that if I told Stephen all of the horrible things I had done, he would for sure leave me high and dry and I had just gotten used to the idea of being married. I did not want to be single.
I ignored God for about two more weeks, but during that time He made sure I was completely and totally miserable. I made mistakes in the bank account, I got into trouble at work which is something I would never ever do! And then, He whispered to my heart....it's time--tell him. I went to my friend and told her how *crazy* all this was. Do you know what her response to me was? If God is asking you to do this, then you need to do it. GULP! I just was not ready to do this. I cried, I prayed, I begged, I pleaded. . .but all of this fell into God's lap without one single solitary bit of approval from God. He refused to talk any further about it with me. He had given me something to do and until I got it done, He would not talk to me anymore.
Feeling defeated, I told Stephen that I needed to talk to him in private. We sat down that evening and I poured my heart out like I had never done before. I had no idea if he would leave when I got done or if he would hate me or what, but I had to be obedient to God. After I was done, I felt totally exhausted and spent. Stephen sat there in silence for what seemed like hours, but was only a few minutes. He got up and walked out of the room without saying a word to me. I silently cried as I thought about how much he probably hated me at this moment. I couldn't say that I blame him. I mean, I had defiled our marriage bed numerous times and then expected him to still love me and be my husband.
After about an hour he came back in the room. He carried with him his Bible. He sat down and told me that he had been praying and talking to God. He said, "I forgive you. I can't say that I love you very much right now, but I forgive you." I felt a sense of relief. He did not say I love you, but he said he forgave me. That was a start. I knew that he wasn't leaving and neither was I. Where in the world would we go from here?
Since this post is a little long, I am going to extend this story into a couple of more posts so that you can truly understand the reason I am so adamant about husbands and wives giving their marriage to God. I will post another part of this story tomorrow.
A Family With a Vision
If you would have asked me ten years ago what the vision was for my family, this is the answer you would have gotten:
"To do well in school making straight A's, being successful and on top at
work, saving money and getting things we want, living in a fairly large house,
with extra income to boot."
work, saving money and getting things we want, living in a fairly large house,
with extra income to boot."
Isn't that what every family in America dreams about? It's so amazing how God changes our focus when we become His children. Since that time, our vision for our family has changed drastically. No longer are we worried about how much money we are making. No longer are we concerned with our children making the grade. No more are we trying to keep up with the Joneses.
Our new focus, and the focus that has become the most important for our family is that of serving God. We have realized that it is SO important that our vision for ourselves and our family is to serve God with all our hearts, with all our minds, with all our souls, and with all our strengths. We want our children to learn that we serve God first. . . we seek His kingdom first and all His righteousness and all the other things will be added after we have done this.
Many people look at our family and think that our vision is a sheltering vision for our children. However, our children are learning to reach out to others in need before thinking of their own welfare. Their first concern has become to share with others the wonderful things God is doing in our lives and how He is molding us and making us into His image.
Today our priorities look like this: Serve God, Serve others, Serve yourself. In doing so, our life has become less complicated, less stressful, and more fulfilling in every single way.
This post is linked to Gathering At The Well.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Has the Media Movement Gone Sex Crazy?
At the Well this week we are discussing the effects of the media on our minds. I am one to tell you that I have been overly disgusted with many of the media's tactics to sell me things. I have also been disgusted myself at how quickly I have been drawn in to all these things. Let me explain.
Our minds are very easily swayed. I used to never believe this, until one day, I saw a VERY racy commercial on tv and realized what it was doing to my mind. That scene from that commercial played in my mind all day long. I talked to my husband about it and he told me that those commercials and things like that play worse on men's minds than they do women's. I listened to him tell me how hard it had been for him lately because we had been watching way to much secular tv and how the commercials and movies were causing his mind to think on things he should not have to.
It was then that I realized that once again, something had to be done about this. So we have decided as a family NOT to watch any more movies or watch tv commercials that involve sex or any racy scenes whatsoever.
Here is a perfect example of what I am talking about. A couple of months ago, one of our favorite restaurants had a commercial on tv selling their newest burger. It was a woman sitting on an apartment step. She had a dress on that came to mid calf on her legs, spaghetti strap top. Her legs were slightly spread to keep the burger from dripping on her. Innocent enough right?? WRONG! She began to eat the burger...not like a normal person would. She was licking the burger and making all these weird sounds. At this point, I am feeling uncomfortable. My son, who is 14, said that this commercial made HIM feel uncomfortable. We immediately changed the channel and I wrote a VERY long letter to this restaurant asking them to remove it because if sex had to be the reason to buy their burger, then their burger must not be good enough to stand on its own.
Whether it is written or visual, those kinds of things play on our minds. I think that is why Jesus told us more than once to renew our minds daily. What goes in is what comes out. I can so testify to that. My job is not to entice my family with this sort of thing. My job is to help shield my family from this kind of devastatingly media.
Why not take a stand for your family? Be different from the rest of the world. Show them that wholesome movies, clean stories, modest relationships are really OK in today's society. Take a stand...as God's word says...Come out from among them and be separate....we are Christians. Let's not look like the world...let's look like Jesus!
My family and I are taking a stand as of today. No more movies and things that cause our minds to wander from God's standards. I will live a life holy and pleasing to the Lord.
Our minds are very easily swayed. I used to never believe this, until one day, I saw a VERY racy commercial on tv and realized what it was doing to my mind. That scene from that commercial played in my mind all day long. I talked to my husband about it and he told me that those commercials and things like that play worse on men's minds than they do women's. I listened to him tell me how hard it had been for him lately because we had been watching way to much secular tv and how the commercials and movies were causing his mind to think on things he should not have to.
It was then that I realized that once again, something had to be done about this. So we have decided as a family NOT to watch any more movies or watch tv commercials that involve sex or any racy scenes whatsoever.
Here is a perfect example of what I am talking about. A couple of months ago, one of our favorite restaurants had a commercial on tv selling their newest burger. It was a woman sitting on an apartment step. She had a dress on that came to mid calf on her legs, spaghetti strap top. Her legs were slightly spread to keep the burger from dripping on her. Innocent enough right?? WRONG! She began to eat the burger...not like a normal person would. She was licking the burger and making all these weird sounds. At this point, I am feeling uncomfortable. My son, who is 14, said that this commercial made HIM feel uncomfortable. We immediately changed the channel and I wrote a VERY long letter to this restaurant asking them to remove it because if sex had to be the reason to buy their burger, then their burger must not be good enough to stand on its own.
Whether it is written or visual, those kinds of things play on our minds. I think that is why Jesus told us more than once to renew our minds daily. What goes in is what comes out. I can so testify to that. My job is not to entice my family with this sort of thing. My job is to help shield my family from this kind of devastatingly media.
Why not take a stand for your family? Be different from the rest of the world. Show them that wholesome movies, clean stories, modest relationships are really OK in today's society. Take a stand...as God's word says...Come out from among them and be separate....we are Christians. Let's not look like the world...let's look like Jesus!
My family and I are taking a stand as of today. No more movies and things that cause our minds to wander from God's standards. I will live a life holy and pleasing to the Lord.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Learning About Obedience in Marriage
September 5th will be the 18th anniversary of our first date. We dated for two years before we got married. In December, on the 15th to be exact, we will be celebrating our 16th wedding anniversary. As I sit here and think back on all these years we have been together, I am happy to say that the majority of those years have been spent being a married couple before the Lord.
I am 34 today, soon to be 35, but when I got saved, I was 25 years old. I was young, sassy, and very independent. Those first seven years of marriage were the worst years of my adult life. If you are an independent person, then you know all to well what I am talking about. Going from independent, to having someone else to answer to, can cause alot of problems and that is exactly what happened to me and my husband those first few years.
I do believe that I was the most selfish and obnoxious person you would have ever met. I was loud, bossy, a pushover, and I would embarrass you in a heartbeat if I thought you were trying to get over on me. Needless to say I brought this attitude and personality into my marriage.
From the very first moment that Stephen and I said "I do", we fought like cats and dogs. I would get in Stephen's face and dare him to hit me or to challenge me (my husband is 6' 3"...and I am 5'2"--I was VERY stupid). We were constantly doing things to each other to hurt one another. I was cheating on him every moment I could, and he had no clue about it. He was doing his own thing--fishing from dawn until dusk, drinking heavily--staying drunk on the weekends--working all hours just to stay away from our relationship.
It was around this time that I got hooked on something pretty bad--pornography. It is the absolute worse kind of thing to get addicted to. I can tell you from experience. Getting off drugs, quitting smoking, or going sober, is a cake walk to letting go of pornography. It started off light at first, but then I was spending more and more time on the computer, engrossed in this horrible addiction.
Robert came along and things were a little better for a while, but then Stephen and I became a little more violent with each other. For three years we were constantly at each other's throat, tearing apart what was left of our feeble marriage. Then I found out I was pregnant with Kayla. For the first few months of pregnancy, Stephen accused me everyday and told me that this was not his baby. He didn't even touch me again until I was almost 8 months. He then realized that this was his baby.
Kayla was born and things got worse instead of better. I went on a major weight loss kick because I had a job that allowed me to travel with my boss and I wanted to look good. I went back to work a week after she was born. I lost all of my baby fat and only gained one pound. I flirted with all the guys at work, and even with the men at Stephen's work. Needless to say, I was back to my old self--cheating and looking at things I should not. It was during this time that I got really sick. Six weeks after having Kayla, I was down for almost two weeks. One of the guys that Stephen worked with would stop by every day to visit and talk with me and play with Robert so that I could rest. We grew quite close during this time. I think what really got me during this time, was this guy I was messing around with. Nothing physical had happened--we were just talking and cheating emotionally, BUT I felt bad about it so I told Stephen that they guy was coming on to me and that he had tried to do things but he did not. It had been both of us but I blamed it all on him. This was a man that Stephen worked with so he confronted him the next day and told him that if he did not tell his wife--Stephen would. So the guy told his wife and she left him and they got divorced. I really started seeing the repercussions of messing around with other people's mates and soon realized I did not want to be that marriage.
However, my position at work did not help the matters any. I was a professional woman on the rise and was loving all the attention and fame I was getting. It went to my head and I was soon back to my old tricks again--but this time worse than ever before. I left Kayla, Robert, and Stephen at home all the time while I was carted off to Vegas, Florida, and other places. I felt like a princess when I wasn't at home. When I would come, I shut myself away from everyone and everything. I let Stephen's mom fix dinner and take care of the family--I hated cooking and taking care of a household. I soon came to realize that this life just wasn't for me. I wanted to be free--free of kids and free of men. I just wanted to be independent and free.
I wanted to leave.
This story will continue next week with the conclusion of how God completely and utterly restored my heart and the heart of my husband.
I am 34 today, soon to be 35, but when I got saved, I was 25 years old. I was young, sassy, and very independent. Those first seven years of marriage were the worst years of my adult life. If you are an independent person, then you know all to well what I am talking about. Going from independent, to having someone else to answer to, can cause alot of problems and that is exactly what happened to me and my husband those first few years.
I do believe that I was the most selfish and obnoxious person you would have ever met. I was loud, bossy, a pushover, and I would embarrass you in a heartbeat if I thought you were trying to get over on me. Needless to say I brought this attitude and personality into my marriage.
From the very first moment that Stephen and I said "I do", we fought like cats and dogs. I would get in Stephen's face and dare him to hit me or to challenge me (my husband is 6' 3"...and I am 5'2"--I was VERY stupid). We were constantly doing things to each other to hurt one another. I was cheating on him every moment I could, and he had no clue about it. He was doing his own thing--fishing from dawn until dusk, drinking heavily--staying drunk on the weekends--working all hours just to stay away from our relationship.
It was around this time that I got hooked on something pretty bad--pornography. It is the absolute worse kind of thing to get addicted to. I can tell you from experience. Getting off drugs, quitting smoking, or going sober, is a cake walk to letting go of pornography. It started off light at first, but then I was spending more and more time on the computer, engrossed in this horrible addiction.
Robert came along and things were a little better for a while, but then Stephen and I became a little more violent with each other. For three years we were constantly at each other's throat, tearing apart what was left of our feeble marriage. Then I found out I was pregnant with Kayla. For the first few months of pregnancy, Stephen accused me everyday and told me that this was not his baby. He didn't even touch me again until I was almost 8 months. He then realized that this was his baby.
Kayla was born and things got worse instead of better. I went on a major weight loss kick because I had a job that allowed me to travel with my boss and I wanted to look good. I went back to work a week after she was born. I lost all of my baby fat and only gained one pound. I flirted with all the guys at work, and even with the men at Stephen's work. Needless to say, I was back to my old self--cheating and looking at things I should not. It was during this time that I got really sick. Six weeks after having Kayla, I was down for almost two weeks. One of the guys that Stephen worked with would stop by every day to visit and talk with me and play with Robert so that I could rest. We grew quite close during this time. I think what really got me during this time, was this guy I was messing around with. Nothing physical had happened--we were just talking and cheating emotionally, BUT I felt bad about it so I told Stephen that they guy was coming on to me and that he had tried to do things but he did not. It had been both of us but I blamed it all on him. This was a man that Stephen worked with so he confronted him the next day and told him that if he did not tell his wife--Stephen would. So the guy told his wife and she left him and they got divorced. I really started seeing the repercussions of messing around with other people's mates and soon realized I did not want to be that marriage.
However, my position at work did not help the matters any. I was a professional woman on the rise and was loving all the attention and fame I was getting. It went to my head and I was soon back to my old tricks again--but this time worse than ever before. I left Kayla, Robert, and Stephen at home all the time while I was carted off to Vegas, Florida, and other places. I felt like a princess when I wasn't at home. When I would come, I shut myself away from everyone and everything. I let Stephen's mom fix dinner and take care of the family--I hated cooking and taking care of a household. I soon came to realize that this life just wasn't for me. I wanted to be free--free of kids and free of men. I just wanted to be independent and free.
I wanted to leave.
This story will continue next week with the conclusion of how God completely and utterly restored my heart and the heart of my husband.
Friday, July 10, 2009
A Woman's Role in the Home Pt. 2
Last week, when I started this topic, I talked about allowing our husbands to be leaders in the home. If you missed it, you can find that post here.
Today we are going to talk about helping our husbands. As we continue this study from the Kingdom Agenda by Tony Evans, I love his definition of what helping is. He says, " To be your husband's helper is not to lose or limit yourself. On the contrary, as we shall see, it is to maximize your divinely bestowed gifts, talents, skills, and training for the betterment of the home under the leadership of your husband as well as in partnership with him."
I think that is something that most of us think of when we start talking about helping our husbands. Society today has made it look as if you are being a doormat, or a slave, if you choose to be your husband's helper. The world wants women to have the attitude that "you can do it all without a man or a husband--I am woman. . . hear me roar!" We have to look at what God says about what a helper is.
My favorite scripture that talks about what a helper is to her husband is Proverbs 31:10-31. The very first verse, An excellent wife who can find, her worth is far above jewels just sets the tone for these few verses. It is full of great scripture truths to help you and I understand fully about being a helper.
Tony says in his book, "Many women have a low-view of themselves, which makes for a weakness in their marriages. A woman who sees herself as an expensive diamond and is treated that way is going to act like an expensive diamond. A woman who considers herself costume jewelry is going to act like costume jewelry." Do you consider yourself a diamond or a piece of fake jewelry? I know for a long time I felt like I was costume jewelry. I had been used by men from high school on and I just had no self worth. This spilled over into my marriage and caused me to view Stephen like those other men. I did not want to help someone who viewed me as something to be cast aside. The problem with this was that he did not feel that way. He valued me as a diamond, but I valued myself as costume jewelry.
Another one of the verses that stick out to me is verse 12: A wife does her husband good and not evil all the days of her life. If you are a Christian wife, your main agenda is to seek the good of your husband and do good for him all the days of your life. What can be considered as doing good? Tony has a few examples that I want to share with you here:
Today we are going to talk about helping our husbands. As we continue this study from the Kingdom Agenda by Tony Evans, I love his definition of what helping is. He says, " To be your husband's helper is not to lose or limit yourself. On the contrary, as we shall see, it is to maximize your divinely bestowed gifts, talents, skills, and training for the betterment of the home under the leadership of your husband as well as in partnership with him."
I think that is something that most of us think of when we start talking about helping our husbands. Society today has made it look as if you are being a doormat, or a slave, if you choose to be your husband's helper. The world wants women to have the attitude that "you can do it all without a man or a husband--I am woman. . . hear me roar!" We have to look at what God says about what a helper is.
My favorite scripture that talks about what a helper is to her husband is Proverbs 31:10-31. The very first verse, An excellent wife who can find, her worth is far above jewels just sets the tone for these few verses. It is full of great scripture truths to help you and I understand fully about being a helper.
Tony says in his book, "Many women have a low-view of themselves, which makes for a weakness in their marriages. A woman who sees herself as an expensive diamond and is treated that way is going to act like an expensive diamond. A woman who considers herself costume jewelry is going to act like costume jewelry." Do you consider yourself a diamond or a piece of fake jewelry? I know for a long time I felt like I was costume jewelry. I had been used by men from high school on and I just had no self worth. This spilled over into my marriage and caused me to view Stephen like those other men. I did not want to help someone who viewed me as something to be cast aside. The problem with this was that he did not feel that way. He valued me as a diamond, but I valued myself as costume jewelry.
Another one of the verses that stick out to me is verse 12: A wife does her husband good and not evil all the days of her life. If you are a Christian wife, your main agenda is to seek the good of your husband and do good for him all the days of your life. What can be considered as doing good? Tony has a few examples that I want to share with you here:
- Help him financially: Every dollar that you help earn and every dollar that you spend should be to make your home a better place to live. When we begin living a life that is for our own agenda (my money, my time, my space, my things) then the blessing of God will not rest on your life or your home. Helping our husbands financially is the best thing that we can do to he considered helpers. You can take my situation for example. I love being a stay at home mom, but when we had to close our business last year due to financial difficulties, I knew something had to be done to help him. I knew that me going to work full time was out of the question because we both felt that God called me to stay home and homeschool, but I could not, in good conscience, stand by and watch my man carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. So I continued to look and look until I found a way that I could do both. That showed him that he was important to me as well as helping him to bear the burden.
- Help him parentally: As a wife, we are to help our husbands raise our children. We are not to undermine their discipline choices even when we disagree with him, and NEVER reprimand him in front of the kids. They will lose all respect for both you and your husband and it takes a long time to get that back. . . trust me! Trust his judgement and let him parent. Don't try manipulation either to get him to discipline your way. He is the parent too and can give you a man's perspective on how things are seen from their view.
- Help him personally: We help our husbands personally when they see us taking care of ourselves. When we dress up and get pretty for everyone else, but yet sit around all day in our pajamas in our own home, with curlers in our hair and our face all a mess, that sends a signal to our husbands that they are not that important. Make your husband feel loved and wanted by making yourself desirable to him. Dress up, wear his favorite perfume, and just love him.
- Help him ministerially: Whatever ministry your husband is in...that is also your ministry. Serve alongside your husband. Tony says that "nothing will draw a couple closer together than serving the Lord together."
- Help his reputation: One of the most important things a wife does to help her husband is help him aquire a solid reputation. Verse 23 of Provers 31 says that her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. I can tell you that you can either help or hurt your husband's reputation. My husband's reputation used to be known as, "oh I know you...Your wife and I..." get the picture?? Your repuation sets the tone for your husband's reputation. You should also NEVER talk unkindly about your husband in any way. I remember listening to a woman talk once about her husband and the more she talked, the worse I felt for her husband. There was not one good thing to say about him. Can you imagine the thoughts that went on in people's minds as they passed him at church or when they saw him in public?
On a last note, if your husband has some things he needs you to do, please do not put them on the backburner. Do those first. It makes him feel special and important.
I hope you have enjoyed the two parts of this study that I have shared with you. Next week, I am going to share a little more in-depth about my own marriage struggles and how God finally brought those to light. I shared a little in my testimony but not enough that you would truly understand the depth of despair we were in.
Until then, love him sweetly, love him fiercely, and love him with the love of Christ.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Selflessness or Selfishness...You Decide
Today's topic at The Well is not one I like to talk about much. The reason for that is because I see myself too clearly in today's post.
It has taken me ten years of serving the Lord to realize how selfish I can be. Let me explain. For many years, it was all about me. Everything I wanted to do, everything I wanted to eat, everywhere I wanted to go. I did not give a care about anyone or their feelings. You know the old saying, "If Momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy!" Well that was me. Until Jesus changed my heart.
However, even as a Christian wife and mother, I can quickly allow myself to get back to that selfish nature within myself when I take my eyes off of Christ. I have found myself in the last few months getting upset with my husband for forgetting to pick up his cup when he is done drinking. I have found myself complaining because he did not wipe the sink off after he was finished wiping his face. And to be honest, I was not quiet about these things that were bothering me...I was very vocal about them...in front of the children.
God showed me that what I was doing was not loving my husband but demeaning him in front of the kids. The way that I was talking to him in front of them, gave them permission to treat their father the same way. I was horrified one day when my daughter scolded her dad for leaving something laying around. I took her aside and explained to her that I was wrong in my attitude about this and that she needed to apologize to her dad, which she did.
At that moment, I asked God for forgiveness and then I went to my husband in front of the children and apologized for the way I had been speaking to him. I also apologized to the kids for allowing them to see me speaking to their dad in that way. I felt better at that moment and knew that I would do my best to never reprimand him in any way again.
As wives and as mothers, we never know what kind of signals we are sending off to our children. They watch every move we make and they imitate that to the tee. Especially the young girls. They are looking for someone who they can use as a model as they are in training themselves for when they begin to raise a family. I think of my own life and how I watched my mother treat my father for so many years. It is very sad to say that this is exactly how I treated my husband for the first few years of our marriage...exactly as I had witnessed when I was growing up.
I want my children to grow up and see how selfless love looks...not selfish love. When I pick up after my husband, I think how blessed I am to have a man who loves me and who is out working his fingers to the bone to provide for our family. I think about how blessed I am to have a man who has eyes only for me and who finds me attractive in my old tattered and torn clothes with no makeup on. Just those little things fills my heart with love and helps me to be selfless in my giving of myself instead of selfish.
If you are going through something today with your spouse and you find yourself saying, "I never get what I want", "noone ever listens to me", or "it's my life and I will do what I want," then you need to spend some time asking the Savior to give you a heart of service towards your family. Love will blossom and grow and replace the selfishness that you find yourself going through.
It has taken me ten years of serving the Lord to realize how selfish I can be. Let me explain. For many years, it was all about me. Everything I wanted to do, everything I wanted to eat, everywhere I wanted to go. I did not give a care about anyone or their feelings. You know the old saying, "If Momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy!" Well that was me. Until Jesus changed my heart.
However, even as a Christian wife and mother, I can quickly allow myself to get back to that selfish nature within myself when I take my eyes off of Christ. I have found myself in the last few months getting upset with my husband for forgetting to pick up his cup when he is done drinking. I have found myself complaining because he did not wipe the sink off after he was finished wiping his face. And to be honest, I was not quiet about these things that were bothering me...I was very vocal about them...in front of the children.
God showed me that what I was doing was not loving my husband but demeaning him in front of the kids. The way that I was talking to him in front of them, gave them permission to treat their father the same way. I was horrified one day when my daughter scolded her dad for leaving something laying around. I took her aside and explained to her that I was wrong in my attitude about this and that she needed to apologize to her dad, which she did.
At that moment, I asked God for forgiveness and then I went to my husband in front of the children and apologized for the way I had been speaking to him. I also apologized to the kids for allowing them to see me speaking to their dad in that way. I felt better at that moment and knew that I would do my best to never reprimand him in any way again.
As wives and as mothers, we never know what kind of signals we are sending off to our children. They watch every move we make and they imitate that to the tee. Especially the young girls. They are looking for someone who they can use as a model as they are in training themselves for when they begin to raise a family. I think of my own life and how I watched my mother treat my father for so many years. It is very sad to say that this is exactly how I treated my husband for the first few years of our marriage...exactly as I had witnessed when I was growing up.
I want my children to grow up and see how selfless love looks...not selfish love. When I pick up after my husband, I think how blessed I am to have a man who loves me and who is out working his fingers to the bone to provide for our family. I think about how blessed I am to have a man who has eyes only for me and who finds me attractive in my old tattered and torn clothes with no makeup on. Just those little things fills my heart with love and helps me to be selfless in my giving of myself instead of selfish.
If you are going through something today with your spouse and you find yourself saying, "I never get what I want", "noone ever listens to me", or "it's my life and I will do what I want," then you need to spend some time asking the Savior to give you a heart of service towards your family. Love will blossom and grow and replace the selfishness that you find yourself going through.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Freedom: The True Art of Being A Christian
Today is July 4th. Many people will be out grilling, swimming, and watching fireworks. I will be one of those people, but before I do, I thought I would share with you just a few thoughts on what true freedom means to me.
I am free today in America because of those before me who fought so that I could say what I want to say, watch what I want to watch, and be what I want to be.
But today, I am so much more free than just being an American. I am free because of the blood that was shed from my Savior. I am free today because He died in my place. I am free because God's word says that I am free.
Happy 4th of July!
I am free today in America because of those before me who fought so that I could say what I want to say, watch what I want to watch, and be what I want to be.
But today, I am so much more free than just being an American. I am free because of the blood that was shed from my Savior. I am free today because He died in my place. I am free because God's word says that I am free.
- I will walk about in freedom, because I have followed your precepts. Psalm 119:45
- Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom. 2nd Corinthians 3:17
- It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1
- In Him and through faith in Him, we may approach God with freedom and confidence. Ephesians 3:12
- But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. Romans 6:22
- Because through Jesus Christ the law of the spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:2
- Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God. 1st Peter 2:16
Through Jesus Christ, I have been freed. I am freer today than I have ever been in my whole life. I no longer fall under the weight of my sin and guilt. God has taken that from me and has made me alive--to live as one who is truly free.
What about you today? Are you truly free? I know you may be an American, but are you free through the Savior? Here is one of my favorite songs by Casting Crowns that helps me to realize what being truly free means! Have a wonderful 4th of July
Happy 4th of July!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
A Wife's Role In The Home Pt. 1
For the last few days, my heart has been so burdened for the families that are being torn apart by selfishness and pride. I think of my own life just ten years ago and the selfishness and pride that was there and the price I almost paid by allowing those two things to run so rampant in my life.
I thought I would take a few weeks and share with you the thoughts that God has laid on my heart over the last few years about my role in the home. Now, I can already hear some of you saying, "Well that doesn't pertain to me because I work outside the home." I am here to tell you that whether you stay at home, work from home, or work outside the home, what the Bible says about our role as women in our home pertains to us all. I am hoping that I can open your eyes with what I share with you, along with my own painful experiences that brought to light these new insights.
When God first started dealing with me on my attitude about my role in the home, one of the first books he lead me to read is Kingdom Agenda by Dr. Tony Evans. This book is profound and each chapter deals with a portion of your life so that everywhere your whole persona can reflect that of the kingdom of Christ. Chapter 12 is labeled The Kindom Agenda of Wives. Here are a few snippets from this book that will make a huge difference.
One of the first things as women we need to learn is that the man is head of the woman (1 Cor 11:3) Now this does not mean that men are to walk all over us like door mats. Tony says that a wife is required by God to function in a role that honors her husband's leadership in order to accomplish God's kingdom agenda in the home. To rebel against this assignment is to rebel against God.
Wow! That last statement just really hits home with me. I think of how many times I rebelled when God was teaching me that I was not the head of this family. I would scream, get angry, throw fit after fit, because I felt like I was being attacked. I had always been the one who had been in charge, and for someone to come in and try to remove that right from me was just more than I could take.
I remember one of the fights that Stephen and I had. I had spent money that I was not supposed to and he confronted me about it. He had asked me not to spend it, but because I was my own woman, I was going to do what I wanted when I wanted. I was fixing my hair and he approached me. I was in the bedroom and had nowhere to run and get away from him (which is what I always done when he confronted me--I would just leave the room and ignore what he was saying). I was acting almost like a deer who was cornered. I had my hairbrush in my hand. The more he pushed, the more intense my anger became until finally my hairbrush flew from my hand and was aimed at his head. I remember standing there thinking, what in the world did I just do?
Realizing that our husbands are put in that role for a reason is so liberating! Tony tells us in this chapter There are alot of men who have great difficulty fulfilling God's kingdom calling in their marriage because their wives aren't fulfilling the other half of the agenda. Am I really keeping my husband from fulfilling his agenda? The answer to that is YES! If you are hindering his ability to lead the home, you are stepping into his role and leaving your own.
Tony also said this and I thought this was pretty true: Many women have taken their definition of a wife's role from Another World, Days of Our Lives, General Hospital, and As The World Turns, or the feminist movemement rather than God's word. Where do you get your definition? Mine for a long time came from what I saw when I was a child. My mother used to talk to my dad in a hateful tone. She was the one in charge and it kind of made him passive in alot of ways. This same attitude carried over into my marriage for many years until God showed me the error of my ways.
Ephesians 5:21 helped me to really see what the real purpose behind all of this was:
Submit to each other out of reverence for Christ. I don't do this for myself or my husband. I do it because I love Christ. Out of my love for Him will flow the right attitude towards my husband and his role in the home, as well as my role in our home. I have always said that you can tell a woman who serves the Lord wholeheartedly by how she treats her husband. If she is hateful to him and tries to run everything, then you can pretty much bank on her treating God the same way.
Ephesians 5:22-24 finish up what God was trying to say about how we treat our husbands:
Wives, submit to your husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which He is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Don't miss that last word. It is very, very important!
So I ask you today from this study, are you submitting to Christ? If you are, then you should have no problem letting your husband lead your home. If you have problems allowing him to do so, then I would really check your submission to Christ. Ask Him if you are submitting. God will show you exactly where you need His guidance.
Next week, we are going to look at helping your husband. I pray that today, you would go to your man, ask his forgiveness, and start allowing him to be the man of the house. You will find yourself less burdened and free to be the lady of the home, the one that God created you to be!
I thought I would take a few weeks and share with you the thoughts that God has laid on my heart over the last few years about my role in the home. Now, I can already hear some of you saying, "Well that doesn't pertain to me because I work outside the home." I am here to tell you that whether you stay at home, work from home, or work outside the home, what the Bible says about our role as women in our home pertains to us all. I am hoping that I can open your eyes with what I share with you, along with my own painful experiences that brought to light these new insights.
When God first started dealing with me on my attitude about my role in the home, one of the first books he lead me to read is Kingdom Agenda by Dr. Tony Evans. This book is profound and each chapter deals with a portion of your life so that everywhere your whole persona can reflect that of the kingdom of Christ. Chapter 12 is labeled The Kindom Agenda of Wives. Here are a few snippets from this book that will make a huge difference.
One of the first things as women we need to learn is that the man is head of the woman (1 Cor 11:3) Now this does not mean that men are to walk all over us like door mats. Tony says that a wife is required by God to function in a role that honors her husband's leadership in order to accomplish God's kingdom agenda in the home. To rebel against this assignment is to rebel against God.
Wow! That last statement just really hits home with me. I think of how many times I rebelled when God was teaching me that I was not the head of this family. I would scream, get angry, throw fit after fit, because I felt like I was being attacked. I had always been the one who had been in charge, and for someone to come in and try to remove that right from me was just more than I could take.
I remember one of the fights that Stephen and I had. I had spent money that I was not supposed to and he confronted me about it. He had asked me not to spend it, but because I was my own woman, I was going to do what I wanted when I wanted. I was fixing my hair and he approached me. I was in the bedroom and had nowhere to run and get away from him (which is what I always done when he confronted me--I would just leave the room and ignore what he was saying). I was acting almost like a deer who was cornered. I had my hairbrush in my hand. The more he pushed, the more intense my anger became until finally my hairbrush flew from my hand and was aimed at his head. I remember standing there thinking, what in the world did I just do?
Realizing that our husbands are put in that role for a reason is so liberating! Tony tells us in this chapter There are alot of men who have great difficulty fulfilling God's kingdom calling in their marriage because their wives aren't fulfilling the other half of the agenda. Am I really keeping my husband from fulfilling his agenda? The answer to that is YES! If you are hindering his ability to lead the home, you are stepping into his role and leaving your own.
Tony also said this and I thought this was pretty true: Many women have taken their definition of a wife's role from Another World, Days of Our Lives, General Hospital, and As The World Turns, or the feminist movemement rather than God's word. Where do you get your definition? Mine for a long time came from what I saw when I was a child. My mother used to talk to my dad in a hateful tone. She was the one in charge and it kind of made him passive in alot of ways. This same attitude carried over into my marriage for many years until God showed me the error of my ways.
Ephesians 5:21 helped me to really see what the real purpose behind all of this was:
Submit to each other out of reverence for Christ. I don't do this for myself or my husband. I do it because I love Christ. Out of my love for Him will flow the right attitude towards my husband and his role in the home, as well as my role in our home. I have always said that you can tell a woman who serves the Lord wholeheartedly by how she treats her husband. If she is hateful to him and tries to run everything, then you can pretty much bank on her treating God the same way.
Ephesians 5:22-24 finish up what God was trying to say about how we treat our husbands:
Wives, submit to your husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which He is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Don't miss that last word. It is very, very important!
So I ask you today from this study, are you submitting to Christ? If you are, then you should have no problem letting your husband lead your home. If you have problems allowing him to do so, then I would really check your submission to Christ. Ask Him if you are submitting. God will show you exactly where you need His guidance.
Next week, we are going to look at helping your husband. I pray that today, you would go to your man, ask his forgiveness, and start allowing him to be the man of the house. You will find yourself less burdened and free to be the lady of the home, the one that God created you to be!
Monday, June 29, 2009
Being Mean Is Never An Option
Today At The Well, we are talking about mean girls. Were you ever one of those? I know for a long time I was. From the time I was in 1st grade until about 4th grade, I was picked on unmercifully. I didn't wear designer clothes, my teeth were really crooked, and I was just not very pretty.
This gave all these kids back then the fuel to make fun of me. Some of their comments were very, very mean and some were not so bad. One day I finally had enough when one of the girls on the bus kept slapping me in the back of the head. I threw my books down and beat her up. I had totally and completely had enough. Afterwards, I felt horrible. I had never in my life beaten anyone up or been mean at all.
From that point on, I got a "reputation" of being a mean girl. It was just one fight, but it stuck with me all through school. When I was in junior high, I made sure that people knew just how mean I could be. I bullied girls who were different than me, and threatened anyone who looked like they could not take up for themselves. I stayed in trouble quite a bit for food fights and bullying.
I am amazed at the transformation that has happened to me since then. No longer am I the girl who hates. Now I am the girl. . . the woman, who loves with the love of the Lord. It feels good to not harbor all that hatred and bitterness in my heart.
A few years ago, I had the opportunity to teach my daughter the importance of not becoming a mean girl. She was in 3rd grade and was at a new school. She had just learned to make friends and was becoming quite popular in class when one girl decided that Kayla needed to be taught a lesson. This other girl looked like a 7th grader in a 3rd grader class. Every day, Kayla would come home and tell me how this girl had picked on her and called her names and was just being downright mean. Kayla asked me how she was supposed to handle this kind of situation. My first instinct was to beat that girl up. But I felt the Lord speak to my heart and tell her to "turn the other cheek".
I explained to her that this girl might feel awkward because she was so much bigger than all the other girls in class. This was her way of letting people know that she was not going to be made fun on. I told Kayla that she had probably been teased alot about her size. I gave Kayla a challenge that day. I told her, "why not go out of your way to be nice to her and make her your friend." We both agreed that this was the best idea.
I can honestly tell you that it only took three days for that girl to notice that Kayla was sincere in her offering of her friendship. She immediately quit making fun of Kayla and they became the best of friends. It is amazing how when God steps into a situation, that He can change the outcome. This day, Kayla saw firsthand, how the love of the Father can truly make a difference when we allow Him to.
God's ways are so much higher than our own. Since I have been saved, I have clung to the verse that says revengence is mine says the Lord. He fights my battles. He gets revenge. My job is to love and serve those who need it the most. Let's all reap a few fiery coals today.
This gave all these kids back then the fuel to make fun of me. Some of their comments were very, very mean and some were not so bad. One day I finally had enough when one of the girls on the bus kept slapping me in the back of the head. I threw my books down and beat her up. I had totally and completely had enough. Afterwards, I felt horrible. I had never in my life beaten anyone up or been mean at all.
From that point on, I got a "reputation" of being a mean girl. It was just one fight, but it stuck with me all through school. When I was in junior high, I made sure that people knew just how mean I could be. I bullied girls who were different than me, and threatened anyone who looked like they could not take up for themselves. I stayed in trouble quite a bit for food fights and bullying.
I am amazed at the transformation that has happened to me since then. No longer am I the girl who hates. Now I am the girl. . . the woman, who loves with the love of the Lord. It feels good to not harbor all that hatred and bitterness in my heart.
A few years ago, I had the opportunity to teach my daughter the importance of not becoming a mean girl. She was in 3rd grade and was at a new school. She had just learned to make friends and was becoming quite popular in class when one girl decided that Kayla needed to be taught a lesson. This other girl looked like a 7th grader in a 3rd grader class. Every day, Kayla would come home and tell me how this girl had picked on her and called her names and was just being downright mean. Kayla asked me how she was supposed to handle this kind of situation. My first instinct was to beat that girl up. But I felt the Lord speak to my heart and tell her to "turn the other cheek".
I explained to her that this girl might feel awkward because she was so much bigger than all the other girls in class. This was her way of letting people know that she was not going to be made fun on. I told Kayla that she had probably been teased alot about her size. I gave Kayla a challenge that day. I told her, "why not go out of your way to be nice to her and make her your friend." We both agreed that this was the best idea.
I can honestly tell you that it only took three days for that girl to notice that Kayla was sincere in her offering of her friendship. She immediately quit making fun of Kayla and they became the best of friends. It is amazing how when God steps into a situation, that He can change the outcome. This day, Kayla saw firsthand, how the love of the Father can truly make a difference when we allow Him to.
God's ways are so much higher than our own. Since I have been saved, I have clung to the verse that says revengence is mine says the Lord. He fights my battles. He gets revenge. My job is to love and serve those who need it the most. Let's all reap a few fiery coals today.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
What Does It Take To Get You To Listen?
"Mom, they're gonna beat me up tomorrow on the playground."
"Who is gonna beat you up tomorrow?"
"Those boys. All five of them. They said so."
"What did you do?"
"Nothing Mom. They just don't like me."
*******************************
Do you relate to the above conversation? I can remember having this conversation with my son time and time again from 3rd grade through the 5th grade. Every single day it was the same thing.
I remember so many trips to the principal's office to discuss this same kind of situation. You would have thought that by now I would have listened to the still small voice in the back of my head telling me it was time to leave the workforce and come home and take care of my family. But I didn't. I had a solution that would still allow me to work and the kids would be safe.
I blamed the public schools for allowing such horrible behavior to go on. Little did I know that when I moved the kids to a private school, that Robert would have an even harder time than before, but because I got a job there and I would be close, I figured there would be no problems and everything would work out okay.
Can I just say that when we do not heed God's calling for our lives, He will put things in our path that will either make us into what He wants or it will break us.
When Robert entered the 6th grade at the private school, he was so excited. It was a fresh start to make new friends and really get into his studies. Neither one of us knew that this would be the year that would break both of us physically and mentally.
The first part of the year was great, but then things started to change. The kids that were in his class had also transferred from the public middle school so many of them had behavior problems. This time instead of trying to pick fights with him, they constantly made fun of him. He began to get depressed and wouldn't tell me what was going on. His schoolwork got worse, he had detention at least twice a week. I was at the end of my rope. All the teachers tried to reassure me that everything was fine, but in the back of my mind, I had this gnawing going on that all was not fine.
The last straw came the day my son attended a school function. He had gotten sunburned and all the boys in his class began to slap him on his sunburn to see how much he could take before he began to cry. When he came and told me about this I was furious. God spoke to my heart again for about the fifteenth time in the last few months about staying home and homeschooling and this time I was all ears.
My son finished his 6th grade school year defeated and depressed, but when school started for the new year, our first homeschool year, I could see a glimmer of hope in his eyes, one that wanted so badly to learn, but scared of failure. I am happy to say that he has finished two years of homeschooling and is doing so much better. He loves to learn.
It hasn't always been easy. I have wanted to give up myself on the hard days--the days when I didn't understand how to explain something to him. But I have to trust in the fact that God has called me to this ministry--a ministry in caring for my family, nurturing and loving them. He has called me to help my husband train them and raise them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Both of our children are now thriving and learning machines! I am so thankful that I finally listened to God. The sad thing is; I think about all the heartache I could have saved my son from had I listened to God as he entered first grade. It is important to always listen and do what God is calling you to do. Even if you do not think it is possible, wtih God all things are possible to those who believe.
"Who is gonna beat you up tomorrow?"
"Those boys. All five of them. They said so."
"What did you do?"
"Nothing Mom. They just don't like me."
*******************************
Do you relate to the above conversation? I can remember having this conversation with my son time and time again from 3rd grade through the 5th grade. Every single day it was the same thing.
I remember so many trips to the principal's office to discuss this same kind of situation. You would have thought that by now I would have listened to the still small voice in the back of my head telling me it was time to leave the workforce and come home and take care of my family. But I didn't. I had a solution that would still allow me to work and the kids would be safe.
I blamed the public schools for allowing such horrible behavior to go on. Little did I know that when I moved the kids to a private school, that Robert would have an even harder time than before, but because I got a job there and I would be close, I figured there would be no problems and everything would work out okay.
Can I just say that when we do not heed God's calling for our lives, He will put things in our path that will either make us into what He wants or it will break us.
When Robert entered the 6th grade at the private school, he was so excited. It was a fresh start to make new friends and really get into his studies. Neither one of us knew that this would be the year that would break both of us physically and mentally.
The first part of the year was great, but then things started to change. The kids that were in his class had also transferred from the public middle school so many of them had behavior problems. This time instead of trying to pick fights with him, they constantly made fun of him. He began to get depressed and wouldn't tell me what was going on. His schoolwork got worse, he had detention at least twice a week. I was at the end of my rope. All the teachers tried to reassure me that everything was fine, but in the back of my mind, I had this gnawing going on that all was not fine.
The last straw came the day my son attended a school function. He had gotten sunburned and all the boys in his class began to slap him on his sunburn to see how much he could take before he began to cry. When he came and told me about this I was furious. God spoke to my heart again for about the fifteenth time in the last few months about staying home and homeschooling and this time I was all ears.
My son finished his 6th grade school year defeated and depressed, but when school started for the new year, our first homeschool year, I could see a glimmer of hope in his eyes, one that wanted so badly to learn, but scared of failure. I am happy to say that he has finished two years of homeschooling and is doing so much better. He loves to learn.
It hasn't always been easy. I have wanted to give up myself on the hard days--the days when I didn't understand how to explain something to him. But I have to trust in the fact that God has called me to this ministry--a ministry in caring for my family, nurturing and loving them. He has called me to help my husband train them and raise them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Both of our children are now thriving and learning machines! I am so thankful that I finally listened to God. The sad thing is; I think about all the heartache I could have saved my son from had I listened to God as he entered first grade. It is important to always listen and do what God is calling you to do. Even if you do not think it is possible, wtih God all things are possible to those who believe.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Helping the Hurting
"Lord, how do I help people who are hurting? What do you want me to do?"
Write for them. Share your personal experiences with them.
"But Lord. . . that's to personal. Can't I just talk to people instead of writing about all my horrible experiences"?
Write for them. Share your personal experiences with them. They will come and they will read and they will be blessed.
"But God, I don't know how to write. Where am I going to learn how to write good enough that what I want to say comes out right"?
Just share My words and what it has meant to your life and how it has helped you overcome your obstacles.
"Okay Lord. I'll try, but I can only do this if You are guiding my hands and my words".
********************************
I know that this may sound weird, but this is the exact conversation that I had with God about a year and a half ago when He asked me to start writing. I was totally overwhelmed because I just knew that what I had to share was unimportant and not worth even repeating. Boy was I wrong!
God has taken all of my past hurts and failures and used them in a way that has helped other people who have gone through some of the same things. I never thought in a million years that what I had to share could change a life, but it has. I have counseled countless women who have had marital problems, and have gotten to watch as those marriages blossom and grow. I have been able to share my heart and the things that God has shown me in His word, and it has blessed many women and brought to light Scriptures that have laid dormant for some time.
God can use us in many ways to help those who are hurting, but in order for that to happen we have to be a willing vessel for Him. We cannot put our spin on things. We have to do it the way that the Lord is asking us to do it, otherwise it is no longer Him doing it but us.
God can use us in many ways if we allow Him to. For those who have a wonderful gift of baking and cooking, you can prepare a meal for an overworked neighbor or friend. Offer to clean the house or mow the yard just to give them some time to recoup.
I can remember when we first got saved. There was a couple that lived next door to us who NEVER mowed their yard. At first I was aggravated because it made my yard look horrible. But then God spoke to my heart one day and said, Mow their yard. I was like, yeah right...whatever. I am NOT mowing their yard. Over the next few days, God continued to burden my heart to mow their yard. I finally decided to do it. That one act of kindness began a relationship that still flourishes to this day. They started going to church because of the love they saw in us, and it wasn't soon after that, they both got saved. God used me as a way to show them that Jesus loves them and takes care of their little minute needs. Oh and the reason why the yard wasn't being mowed? I found out that she had been very sick and had lost a baby and was having a lot of pain and could not get out of the bed. He worked nights and slept during the day, so they had no way to get it mowed.
Just remember that when God burdens your heart for something, don't question Him. Just do it and He will provide all the means necessary to complete that task.
If you would like to join us over At the Well, click here.
Write for them. Share your personal experiences with them.
"But Lord. . . that's to personal. Can't I just talk to people instead of writing about all my horrible experiences"?
Write for them. Share your personal experiences with them. They will come and they will read and they will be blessed.
"But God, I don't know how to write. Where am I going to learn how to write good enough that what I want to say comes out right"?
Just share My words and what it has meant to your life and how it has helped you overcome your obstacles.
"Okay Lord. I'll try, but I can only do this if You are guiding my hands and my words".
********************************
I know that this may sound weird, but this is the exact conversation that I had with God about a year and a half ago when He asked me to start writing. I was totally overwhelmed because I just knew that what I had to share was unimportant and not worth even repeating. Boy was I wrong!
God has taken all of my past hurts and failures and used them in a way that has helped other people who have gone through some of the same things. I never thought in a million years that what I had to share could change a life, but it has. I have counseled countless women who have had marital problems, and have gotten to watch as those marriages blossom and grow. I have been able to share my heart and the things that God has shown me in His word, and it has blessed many women and brought to light Scriptures that have laid dormant for some time.
God can use us in many ways to help those who are hurting, but in order for that to happen we have to be a willing vessel for Him. We cannot put our spin on things. We have to do it the way that the Lord is asking us to do it, otherwise it is no longer Him doing it but us.
God can use us in many ways if we allow Him to. For those who have a wonderful gift of baking and cooking, you can prepare a meal for an overworked neighbor or friend. Offer to clean the house or mow the yard just to give them some time to recoup.
I can remember when we first got saved. There was a couple that lived next door to us who NEVER mowed their yard. At first I was aggravated because it made my yard look horrible. But then God spoke to my heart one day and said, Mow their yard. I was like, yeah right...whatever. I am NOT mowing their yard. Over the next few days, God continued to burden my heart to mow their yard. I finally decided to do it. That one act of kindness began a relationship that still flourishes to this day. They started going to church because of the love they saw in us, and it wasn't soon after that, they both got saved. God used me as a way to show them that Jesus loves them and takes care of their little minute needs. Oh and the reason why the yard wasn't being mowed? I found out that she had been very sick and had lost a baby and was having a lot of pain and could not get out of the bed. He worked nights and slept during the day, so they had no way to get it mowed.
Just remember that when God burdens your heart for something, don't question Him. Just do it and He will provide all the means necessary to complete that task.
If you would like to join us over At the Well, click here.
Monday, June 15, 2009
What Does a Godly Homemaker Look Like?
Some of my modern day friends call me old fashioned. Really to be honest, I just like living a plain and simple life. Don't get me wrong. I love my laptop, and our family game time on the Wii. But really more than that, I love being a wife and mother more than the air I breathe.
As I have shared before, I have not always been the best wife and mother. There was a time that I was ready to give it all up, all in the name of sin. But now. . . the Lord has touched my heart and has put such a longing to be a better wife and mother.
For me, it starts with being a good daughter to the Lord. He helps me to be the wife He created me to be and the mother that my children need. Today I wanted to focus on what it takes to be a godly wife. Here are a few of the verses that I go to when I need a reminder of what a godly wife looks like:
As I have shared before, I have not always been the best wife and mother. There was a time that I was ready to give it all up, all in the name of sin. But now. . . the Lord has touched my heart and has put such a longing to be a better wife and mother.
For me, it starts with being a good daughter to the Lord. He helps me to be the wife He created me to be and the mother that my children need. Today I wanted to focus on what it takes to be a godly wife. Here are a few of the verses that I go to when I need a reminder of what a godly wife looks like:
- Psalm 128:3Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table.
- Proverbs 12:4A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.
- Proverbs 19:13A foolish son is his father's ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.
- Proverbs 21:19Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.
- Proverbs 27:15A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day;
- 1 Corinthians 7:3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
For a long time I did not understand the full concept of being a godly wife. I hated the word submission and everything it stood for. I felt that it was an entrapment for women to be treated as a door mat. That was until the Lord showed me how much liberating freedom there was in being submissive.
I have always been the type of woman who is independent and does not need anyone to do anything for her. I had always carried the weight of the world on my shoulders. God showed me that this was not my job. I was created to be a nurturer and comforter to my family members. My husband was the one who was built for this. The first time I experienced this I cannot tell you how free I felt! I had 500 pounds lifted off my shoulders.
One thing that I have decided to do in this area, is to try to meet all my husband's needs for the day. I am not talking about intimate needs, but real needs he may have. An errand that needed running, a phone call that needed to be made, or something like that. He LOVES breakfast so I always try to make it a point to make him breakfast. This has allowed me to be submissive and show him that I love him and how much I am thankful that he is following Christ.
In the future, I just plan on letting God guide me in the areas where I am weak, so that He can make a stronger woman for my Lord, for my man, and for my kids.
This post is linked to A Gathering At The Well
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Who Says You Have to Read?
This week, I stepped away from my Bible for a few days just to see what would happen. I have had so many people tell me that reading the Word is not that important, that you can just go to church and everything be fine. I have been told that serving the Lord is not important, that just going to church is fine.
I am here to tell you that just going to church is NOT fine! I have struggled all week long with my old nature and my old habits. Not that I would go back to them, but I found myself contemplating things. . . things I would not have thought on otherwise.
Taking in God's word is not simply reading a few Scriptures to check off your "to-do" list. This is a time of refocusing on what God wants from us as individual follwers of Christ. In fact, Jesus Himself went away every morning to spend private time with God. Now if it was something that JESUS. . . the Holy one of God, the sinless One, the Righteousness of God thought was important, then why in the world do we feel that we don't need to?
Here are some things I realized this week as I tried my little experiment.
I am here to tell you that just going to church is NOT fine! I have struggled all week long with my old nature and my old habits. Not that I would go back to them, but I found myself contemplating things. . . things I would not have thought on otherwise.
Taking in God's word is not simply reading a few Scriptures to check off your "to-do" list. This is a time of refocusing on what God wants from us as individual follwers of Christ. In fact, Jesus Himself went away every morning to spend private time with God. Now if it was something that JESUS. . . the Holy one of God, the sinless One, the Righteousness of God thought was important, then why in the world do we feel that we don't need to?
Here are some things I realized this week as I tried my little experiment.
- Not reading allowed my mind to think on other things. Many times during the past week, I found my mind trailing to my past indescretions before I fell in love with God. I was amazed at how quickly our minds revert back to their old ways when we are not filling them with God's Holy Word.
- I found myself being disensitized to things that would normally cause my stomach to churn.
- I found myself angry and upset at people and things that I had no control over. My anger festered and caused problems that normally would have been resolved in just a few minutes, because I would have picked up my Bible and read something to help me understand my emotions.
- I realized that a person who does not spend regular time in God's word can and will walk away from Him at some point. When you are not faced with yourself daily, it is easy to run.
This morning I picked up my Bible eager to read some of the wonderful truths that have filled my life for the last 10 years and this is what God brought to my attention:
I love You, Lord, my strength.
The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer,
my God, my mountain were I seek refuge
my shield and the horn of my salvation,
my stronghold.
I called to the Lord, who is worthy of praise,
and I was saved from my enemies.
The ropes of death were wrapped around me;
the torments of destruction terrified me.
The ropes of Sheol entagled me;
the snares of death confronted me.
I called to the Lord in my distress,
and I cried to my God for help.
From His temple He heard my voice,
and my cry to Him reached His ears.
Psalm 18:1-6
To know that when I cry out, He hears me. He hears me. That causes my heart to go pitter patter. Think of a new mother, or for that matter, a mother in general, young or old, new or seasoned. When her child cries out, what happens? There can be 400 children in a room and you let one child cry out and THAT mother knows her child's cry. She immediately runs to that child. Now, take that same analogy with God. When our cries reach His ears, that is exactly what He does. I am so blessed to know that my Father, my Abba, my Daddy does that for me.
I am telling you that it is SO important to read God's word. Just going to church is never enough. You will run out of fuel before the week is over and if you are not reading, you will have nothing to get you going. You will sit on the roadside watching life pass you by.
Read......read......read....read!
Monday, June 8, 2009
Unanswered Prayers
Today At The Well, we are talking about being overlooked. You know, overlooked for that job promotion, or overlooked and someone else chosen for that assignment that you really wanted. How about overlooked by a man who left you and chose another?
We can look at it from this standpoint of being overlooked, but in my heart and in my eyes, I try not to focus on the fact that I was overlooked. I like to look at it this way:
We can look at it from this standpoint of being overlooked, but in my heart and in my eyes, I try not to focus on the fact that I was overlooked. I like to look at it this way:
"Lord, I thank you that you did not grant me this request. I know that no man can shut a door that You have opened for me, and I know that one can not be opened that You have shut. I may get angry because of the outcome, but Lord, in the end, I know that all things work together for my good, because I am Yours...you called me according to Your purpose. So what I consider as being overlooked simply Lord turns out to just not be a part of your plan for my life. As you have said in your Word, "For I know the thoughts and plans I have for you declares the Lord; plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you a hope and a future." I thank you Lord that all those times I have been overlooked, I was being looked out for by You, my Abba, My Daddy. I praise you for all the harm You kept me from by allowing me to be overlooked. At the time, I did not think it was so, but I know without a shadow of a doubt Lord, that You will always choose the best path for me."
As you can see, when we look at it from this point, it no longer looks as if we are being overlooked. It begins to look like we are being protected from harm by the One who cares more for me and you than anyone ever could.
So the next time that something happens and you get overlooked, thank God that He did not answer that prayer to give you what you wanted....or at least what you thought you wanted!
Friday, June 5, 2009
Why Do You Homeschool?
I started a new book this week. It is a fairly older book, but the information in its pages are such a golden treasure. In fact, this morning as I was reading, I was struck with such a genuine humbleness. It was an attitude of gratitude to my Savior for laying on my heart and my husband's heart the need to homeschool our children.
Did you know that there were many of our country's leaders who were homeschooled? Check out this list and see if you recognize any of these names!
Did you know that there were many of our country's leaders who were homeschooled? Check out this list and see if you recognize any of these names!
- Abigail Adams
- John Quincy Adams
- Hans Christian Anderson
- Alexander Graham Bell
- Pearl Buck
- Andrew Carnegie
- George Washington Carver
- Charlie Chaplin
- Agatha Christie
- Winston Churchill
- George Rogers Clark
- Noel Coward
- Piere Currie
- Charles Dickens
- Pierre Dupont
- Thomas Edison
- Albert Einstein
- Benjamin Franklin
- Alexander Hamilton
- Bret Harte
- Patrick Henry
- Stonewall Jackson
- Robert E. Lee
- Abraham Lincoln
- C.S. Lewis
- Douglas MacArthur
- James Madison
- Cyrus McCormick
- John Stuart Mill
- Claude Monet
- James Monroe
- Wolfgang Mozart
- Florence Nightingale
- Blaise Pascal
- George Patton
- William Penn
- Franklin Delanor Roosevelt
- Theodore Roosevelt
- George Bernard Shaw
- Albert Shweitzer
- Leo Tolstoy
- Mark Twain
- George Washington
- Marha Washington
- Daniel Webster
- John Wesley
- Phyllis Wheatley
- Woodrow Wilson
- Orville Wright
- Wilbur Wright
- Andrew Wyeth
Many of our Presidents were homeschooled. Our country was founded on Biblical principals. So why is our economy decided that we as parents have no clue how to teach our children? If it was good enough for the founding fathers of our nation and some of the greatest leaders of our times, why can't it be good enough for us today? One thing that this book noted is that many of these leaders had compassion, intelligence, skill adeptness and self-sufficiency. That is what is lacking from today's generation.
So I go back to the title of my post. Why do you homeschool? I know for us, the reason that we homeschool is because I want more for my children than the local schools are allowing. My children are so smart, and to sit my child in a punishment room all day and say that he is a bad kid does not sit well with me.
I want my children to be able to handle conflict the correct way and not feel that they always have to "watch their back" for the sake of someone's initiation into a gang or a club.
I want my children to be able to have the freedom to further their interest in something instead of having to choose from a list of things that have no interest to them whatsoever.
I want my children to learn what it takes to survive in life, not just to do what it takes to get by.
These are the reasons why we homeschool. But the main one... the main reason we homeschool, is simply this....we want our children to be able to learn about their Godly heritage and what all God has done for them. At home they can learn this in depth. In a school setting, that is pushed to the side.
I am so blessed that God has given us this chance to homeschool. I am not saying that public school is wrong. Because there are some really great public schools, but for us, those schools are not here where I live. So for now in this moment in our lives, we will homeschool.
Oh and the book that I am currently reading? It is called The How and Why of Homeschooling by Ray E. Ballman. It really is a good book. You should read it!
Monday, June 1, 2009
Who Are You Dressing For?
Today's topic At The Well really hits home to me. It seems like only yesterday when I went through this very thing, and had to be snapped back into reality. Today I thought I would share this story with you and the insights that God showed me during and after this time.
About 4 years ago, I got on this weight loss kick and lost about 30 pounds. I went from a size 14 down to a size 10 which really changed the way I looked. I was also going to the tanning bed at the time, and I felt sexy. I will just be honest with you.
My friend and I decided to do some shopping and I talked myself into buying some rather questionable clothing to wear to work. I mean, I was losing weight so why would I not want to dress sexy! In the back of my mind, I kept hearing the Holy Spirit tell me that this was not the route I needed to go, that at the end of this road there would be death and destruction, but I blew that voice off. I wanted to look sexy!
I did attract the attention of a certain man, who shall remain nameless. At first I was deeply flattered. Another man besides my husband thought I looked good. WOW! But then that flattery began to turn into thoughts. . . thoughts of being with somone other than my husband. This man would visit my office every day and sit and talk to me for hours. He emailed me regularly. He showed an interest. He even commented a few times about how sexy I had become in the few weeks.
After a couple of months of this, one morning when I was checking out my nice slim body in the mirror, my daughter walked in the room. Now remember.. this was 4 years ago. I was a Christian, a God fearing woman, who had blown off the convicting voice of the Holy Spirit. Kayla at the time was 7 years old. She stood there for a few moments and then she said, "Momma...why are you dressing like that?" I asked her, "Like what baby?" And she said, "Like that." and she pointed to my clothing. I looked in the mirror again still not seeing what she was talking about. And then she spoke again, but this time I did not hear her. I heard the Voice of My Savior speaking. She said, "Why are you dressing like that for work? Who are you trying to impress? Why do you want other men to look at you when you are already married? Daddy likes the way you look. No one else needs to like you that way mommy."
SMACK!
At that moment, I saw myself as the Lord saw me. I was ashamed, humiliated, and completely and utterly horrified that I had allowed myself to be pulled in that direction. I was so thankful that nothing had transpired with the man at work. I quickly changed clothes and bagged up everything I had purchased and threw them in the garbage! Mini skirts, tight tops, EVERYTHING and out it went.
I went to work and emailed the man and told him that I could not talk to him anymore. I quit my job within a month of this happening and took a different job which eventually led me to homeschooling my children.
Now I am more aware of how I dress. Here lately I have been the sneakers and jeans kinds of girl, but slowly God is showing me just how feminine I am and that I can be girly and beautiful and modest all at the same time.
As women, we have to be careful of what we wear. If we are wearing it so other people will notice us, we are wearing it for the wrong reasons! You have to dress for yourself and not to draw the attention of others. If you find yourself doing that, then I suggest you spend some time in prayer asking God to reveal to you what your true motives are.
If you have caused someone to fail because of the way you dress, then go ask forgiveness of that person. Also ask God to forgive you and then CHANGE!
I still look back at this time as a way of God opening my eyes to the problems of dress and why in His word He talks about all the reasons why He wants us to dress modestly. When the Holy Spirit is speaking to you, listen to His voice, heed His warnings and do what He is asking you to do. It is for your good.
About 4 years ago, I got on this weight loss kick and lost about 30 pounds. I went from a size 14 down to a size 10 which really changed the way I looked. I was also going to the tanning bed at the time, and I felt sexy. I will just be honest with you.
My friend and I decided to do some shopping and I talked myself into buying some rather questionable clothing to wear to work. I mean, I was losing weight so why would I not want to dress sexy! In the back of my mind, I kept hearing the Holy Spirit tell me that this was not the route I needed to go, that at the end of this road there would be death and destruction, but I blew that voice off. I wanted to look sexy!
I did attract the attention of a certain man, who shall remain nameless. At first I was deeply flattered. Another man besides my husband thought I looked good. WOW! But then that flattery began to turn into thoughts. . . thoughts of being with somone other than my husband. This man would visit my office every day and sit and talk to me for hours. He emailed me regularly. He showed an interest. He even commented a few times about how sexy I had become in the few weeks.
After a couple of months of this, one morning when I was checking out my nice slim body in the mirror, my daughter walked in the room. Now remember.. this was 4 years ago. I was a Christian, a God fearing woman, who had blown off the convicting voice of the Holy Spirit. Kayla at the time was 7 years old. She stood there for a few moments and then she said, "Momma...why are you dressing like that?" I asked her, "Like what baby?" And she said, "Like that." and she pointed to my clothing. I looked in the mirror again still not seeing what she was talking about. And then she spoke again, but this time I did not hear her. I heard the Voice of My Savior speaking. She said, "Why are you dressing like that for work? Who are you trying to impress? Why do you want other men to look at you when you are already married? Daddy likes the way you look. No one else needs to like you that way mommy."
SMACK!
At that moment, I saw myself as the Lord saw me. I was ashamed, humiliated, and completely and utterly horrified that I had allowed myself to be pulled in that direction. I was so thankful that nothing had transpired with the man at work. I quickly changed clothes and bagged up everything I had purchased and threw them in the garbage! Mini skirts, tight tops, EVERYTHING and out it went.
I went to work and emailed the man and told him that I could not talk to him anymore. I quit my job within a month of this happening and took a different job which eventually led me to homeschooling my children.
Now I am more aware of how I dress. Here lately I have been the sneakers and jeans kinds of girl, but slowly God is showing me just how feminine I am and that I can be girly and beautiful and modest all at the same time.
As women, we have to be careful of what we wear. If we are wearing it so other people will notice us, we are wearing it for the wrong reasons! You have to dress for yourself and not to draw the attention of others. If you find yourself doing that, then I suggest you spend some time in prayer asking God to reveal to you what your true motives are.
If you have caused someone to fail because of the way you dress, then go ask forgiveness of that person. Also ask God to forgive you and then CHANGE!
I still look back at this time as a way of God opening my eyes to the problems of dress and why in His word He talks about all the reasons why He wants us to dress modestly. When the Holy Spirit is speaking to you, listen to His voice, heed His warnings and do what He is asking you to do. It is for your good.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Can You Feel Your Throat Tighten?
Lately my friend Nancy and I have been talking about our growing teens. She will be graduating one soon and mine...well...they just keep growing up on me so fast. It's scary. Do you ever get those annoying questions in the back of your mind? The ones that sound a lot like fear of failure?
- Did I teach him enough Lord?
- Will he continue his whole life to trust you Lord?
- Will he still be a blessing when the teen years really set in?
- Does he know how to care for himself Lord?
- Does he understand the value of a dollar Lord?
- Does he know how to serve you wholeheartedly Lord?
- Does she realize just how powerful her words can be?
- Will she trust you all the days of her life?
- Will she allow you Lord to help her choose her mate?
- Will she be rebellious and boy crazy like I was Lord?
- Will they follow you after they leave home Lord?
- Will they always be best friends like they are now?
Yesterday, our daughter, 11 years old, decided that for Mother's Day she would give me a perfectly clean house. I almost cried at her thoughtfulness. She is such a blessing and I am just humbled at the fact that God would choose me for her mother.
Robert's lawn business is growing. He has now gotten two more yards to mow. I am humbled by his work ethic. We have constantly ground the scripture in his brain that whatever you do, do it as unto the Lord and it has paid off tremendously. He loves hard work and has become my husband's best friend.
My kids are growing and we are reaching a new era, the friendship era. Instead of constantly disciplining them, we are now able to step back some and let them make some errors and learn from those mistakes. In doing so, we get to be there to encourage, pick them up, offer advice and share what God's word says with them.
In the end, I have to trust that God will lead and guide them. It comes down to this: They are not my children, but they are His and He wants more for them than I ever could imagine!
Trust God with your children today. Set the best example for them that you can and let them see you following hard after the Lord! I still claim the verse, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."
Monday, April 27, 2009
At The Well: What Is It About Mentoring?
This week At The Well, we are talking about mentoring. I think before we get into the meat of God's word and learn how to mentor, that first we need to understand what mentoring is. I looked up mentor in the dictionary and this is what I found:
Mentor:
a wise and trusted counselor or teacher (n.)
To act as a wise and trusted counselor or teacher (v.)
a wise and trusted counselor or teacher (n.)
To act as a wise and trusted counselor or teacher (v.)
Notice here that we first must decide that we are going to be the person, the mentor, before we start actually doing the action of mentoring.
As children of God, how can we mentor? I think that we can take lessons from many of the women in the Bible. They set the path for us to mentor, by showing us how and why. Here are a few that I have come across:
Each day, ask God to put a lady in your path. Use the Word as your guidelines in teaching them. Share with them daily what God is doing in your life, the experiences He has you going through. I am so blessed that I have been able to mentor young teen girls and pre-teen girls. It has been a wonderful blessing sharing with them some of the things God has been showing me.
You can link to At The Well...here.
Where are you at in your mentoring? Has God spoken to your heart about an issue that you need to work on so that you are "blameless" when it comes to mentoring? Spend some time asking Him if He has anything specific for you to mentor about.
As children of God, how can we mentor? I think that we can take lessons from many of the women in the Bible. They set the path for us to mentor, by showing us how and why. Here are a few that I have come across:
- Esther: Esther teaches us how to trust the Lord. She won the favor of Hegai not because of anything that she said, but because of how she lived her life. I am sure that in the harem, she daily instructed the other women on how to present themselves. She was not arrogant or haughty, but humble in Spirit, which showed through her actions.
- Ruth and Naomi: Ruth stayed devoted to her mother-in-law even when she didn't have to. Naomi not only accepted this invitation from Ruth, but she also showed her the way as they traveled. She taught her the customs of those who followed God and showed her how to present herself to Boaz the redeeming kinsman in order to help Ruth gain a husband. Both ladies were humble in Spirit and were willing to learn from each other and support each other along the way.
- Mary and Martha: Even though they were sisters, they taught each other. Mary taught Martha how to worship the Lord and Martha taught Mary how to serve Him. They mentored each other as they both learned what it meant to love the Savior
Each day, ask God to put a lady in your path. Use the Word as your guidelines in teaching them. Share with them daily what God is doing in your life, the experiences He has you going through. I am so blessed that I have been able to mentor young teen girls and pre-teen girls. It has been a wonderful blessing sharing with them some of the things God has been showing me.
You can link to At The Well...here.
Where are you at in your mentoring? Has God spoken to your heart about an issue that you need to work on so that you are "blameless" when it comes to mentoring? Spend some time asking Him if He has anything specific for you to mentor about.
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