I remember crying all day on Saturday. For no apparent reason, I would just start crying. Not quietly crying either, heavy bawling. It was horrible. I was a complete wreck!
On Sunday morning, the ride to church was so weird. Stephen and I were quiet. I think I smoked a whole pack of cigerettes on the way to church. I had only been a few times in my life. Most of those times were when I had done something really bad and that is where my mother dragged me. Or when I was a teenager, that's where I went to meet boys.
I walked into the church and sat down with the kids right by my side. Todd began to preach, and I was completely and totally mesmerized at the sermon. To this day, I can not tell you what was being preached, but I remember the feeling of anxiety that came over me. The urgency for him to finish so I could crawl into that place that was calling my name. As the altar call began, Stephen and I both stood up, looked at each other, and made our way down front. I was crying so hard I couldn't even see where I was going. Kayla was about a year old and refused to let go of me, so I knelt down at the altar, with her on my hip and gave my heart and my life to Jesus. Todd prayed with both of us to receive Christ. He was so emotional, because him and his wife had been praying for us to get saved. Todd had his best friend back again(they were best friends growing up).
AS Stephen and I walked out of church that day, brand new creatures in Christ, the sky never looked bluer, the grass never looked greener, and the air never felt as sweet as it did before. September 19, 1999 will always be a day in my book that I will remember forever. It is the day that Stephen and I gave our hearts and our lives to Jesus Christ.
As I went home that evening, feeling like I was on top of the world, God began breaking down the wall in my heart that I had put up to keep Stephen and the kids out. This was going to be a long battle.......