Saturday, August 2, 2008

My Life Before Jesus

9 years ago..........

As all my girlfriends were on the dance floor hooping and hollering, staggering from the massive amounts of booze that we had just drank, I sat there wondering what I was doing with my life....what was going on with me? Why did I do these things to myself?

Just a few hours prior to going out with the girls, Stephen and I had a huge fight on the phone. He was tired of me going out all the time leaving him at home with the kids. I told him that I was going out regardless. I didn't care about him and I didn't care about the kids either.

You see, what you don't see from this angle is the life I had lived just two years before this day took place. I had been promoted in my workplace to top salesperson of the company which required alot of traveling. I got sucked into the job coming before the family. I traveled alot with my boss who said, "it doesn't matter about your husband. He won't know what's going on." I never cheated with my boss...that is just gross, but I cheated...lots of times. I kept it all hidden well. No one knew what was going on.

I was heavy into alot of things that girls my age NEVER should be involved in. I never experimented with drugs, but all other things.....well I won't go into great detail, but you can just imagine.

My marriage was in total shambles. In fact, the weekend that I was out with my girlfriends, I had decided to leave my husband and my kids behind and start a new life all on my own. I am so thankful that God had other plans than the ones I had laid for myself. I remember coming home so drunk that night. How I ever made it home from the club, I will never know. I looked at my husband and I can remember telling him....I hate you. I want out. And I went to bed fully expecting to pack my things the next morning and leave............

Continued tomorrow..

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