Today's topic At The Well really hits home to me. It seems like only yesterday when I went through this very thing, and had to be snapped back into reality. Today I thought I would share this story with you and the insights that God showed me during and after this time.
About 4 years ago, I got on this weight loss kick and lost about 30 pounds. I went from a size 14 down to a size 10 which really changed the way I looked. I was also going to the tanning bed at the time, and I felt sexy. I will just be honest with you.
My friend and I decided to do some shopping and I talked myself into buying some rather questionable clothing to wear to work. I mean, I was losing weight so why would I not want to dress sexy! In the back of my mind, I kept hearing the Holy Spirit tell me that this was not the route I needed to go, that at the end of this road there would be death and destruction, but I blew that voice off. I wanted to look sexy!
I did attract the attention of a certain man, who shall remain nameless. At first I was deeply flattered. Another man besides my husband thought I looked good. WOW! But then that flattery began to turn into thoughts. . . thoughts of being with somone other than my husband. This man would visit my office every day and sit and talk to me for hours. He emailed me regularly. He showed an interest. He even commented a few times about how sexy I had become in the few weeks.
After a couple of months of this, one morning when I was checking out my nice slim body in the mirror, my daughter walked in the room. Now remember.. this was 4 years ago. I was a Christian, a God fearing woman, who had blown off the convicting voice of the Holy Spirit. Kayla at the time was 7 years old. She stood there for a few moments and then she said, "Momma...why are you dressing like that?" I asked her, "Like what baby?" And she said, "Like that." and she pointed to my clothing. I looked in the mirror again still not seeing what she was talking about. And then she spoke again, but this time I did not hear her. I heard the Voice of My Savior speaking. She said, "Why are you dressing like that for work? Who are you trying to impress? Why do you want other men to look at you when you are already married? Daddy likes the way you look. No one else needs to like you that way mommy."
SMACK!
At that moment, I saw myself as the Lord saw me. I was ashamed, humiliated, and completely and utterly horrified that I had allowed myself to be pulled in that direction. I was so thankful that nothing had transpired with the man at work. I quickly changed clothes and bagged up everything I had purchased and threw them in the garbage! Mini skirts, tight tops, EVERYTHING and out it went.
I went to work and emailed the man and told him that I could not talk to him anymore. I quit my job within a month of this happening and took a different job which eventually led me to homeschooling my children.
Now I am more aware of how I dress. Here lately I have been the sneakers and jeans kinds of girl, but slowly God is showing me just how feminine I am and that I can be girly and beautiful and modest all at the same time.
As women, we have to be careful of what we wear. If we are wearing it so other people will notice us, we are wearing it for the wrong reasons! You have to dress for yourself and not to draw the attention of others. If you find yourself doing that, then I suggest you spend some time in prayer asking God to reveal to you what your true motives are.
If you have caused someone to fail because of the way you dress, then go ask forgiveness of that person. Also ask God to forgive you and then CHANGE!
I still look back at this time as a way of God opening my eyes to the problems of dress and why in His word He talks about all the reasons why He wants us to dress modestly. When the Holy Spirit is speaking to you, listen to His voice, heed His warnings and do what He is asking you to do. It is for your good.
7 comments:
Jennifer, I found your blog when I was reading the "At the Well" devotion today. I just want to say Amen sister and I TOTALLY agree with what you had written today! I went through a time when I placed all my worth and value on who I was on the outside and focused on my appearance to an extreme. I was working out obsessively, going to the tanning bed, and wearing clothes that would draw attention. It was before I knew Christ. He found me when I hit rock bottom and was in a deep pit five and half years ago right after my son was born. All the external things were only a mask for the pain I was going through on the inside. If I focused on externals then I would not have to think about all the pain, insecurity and shattered self-esteem that was in me. Christ has now delivered me from those things and now my esteem is found in who I am in Him. I still love make-up and cute clothes and shoes, but I dress with modesty. Cute but modest as Beth Moore says :) Nice to read your blog today. We are neighbors, I am in north TN close to the KY border.
Have a great day!
Brandee, TN
Amazing how God can use even a child to convict us! I admire your honesty and transparency in sharing with us the road you were led down, and how you snapped back and came to the road God wants to lead you down. Great post!
Jennifer,
What a wonderful story and example of how something so seemingly simple as getting dressed can effect the our lives in such dramatic ways.
Blessings
Raye Ann
Thank you for sharing so openly today. What a sober reminder of how easy it is to slip into temptation and how much we need to guard our hearts and minds, but mostly for a beautiful reminder of God's grace to us and how transforming His power is. Rejoicing with you on the blessings of the Lord.
Your post was right on. About 8 years I went through the same thing. With me it had to do
with getting older. I did not post on this subject, because I could not think of anything
to say at the time. Now look at me.
June
june-intimeslikethese@blogspot.com
Thank you so much for sharing this, I have recently lost a lot of weight after 22 years of being heavy. I am enjoying my new body, but hear the Holy Spirit constantly to not fall for a 'sexy' look. It is hard because we are surrounded by it. I have to keep putting my heart open to Him asking Him to keep it pure and give me His desires for my clothing. It is amazing how tempting it is to want to look sexy, I know in my heart it is so wrong, but part of me wants too. Seems silly at my age to be tempted by such a thing.;-)
Your openness was a blessing and a confirmation to stay on the narrow path. I thank God for me reading this today. I think it is a message that many women of God need to hear...have you been to church lately??
Have a lovely day and thanks for sharing your heart!!
What an incredible testimony!!! thank you for sharing this - it is so needed to be heard. -Laurie
Post a Comment