Friday, October 2, 2009

The Importance of Purity~ My Random Thoughts

With a teenage boy in the home and a pre-teen girl on his heels, I have become convicted and concerned about teaching them both the importance of purity. In today's society most kids do not even take purity seriously anymore. The more skin you show, the more popular you are, right? WRONG!

I have been watching some of the kids in my neighborhood recently and how they portray themselves. I have had to pull a couple of them aside and talk with them and their behavior (one was showing his "part" to the world--and he is 14). I am totally amazed at how parents allow this kind of behavior to go on! What is wrong with society nowadays?

We are trying our hardest to raise Robert and Kayla to respect their bodies, but also the bodies of the opposite sex as well. When boys come over to play, my one rule is--if the girls are outside playing, please keep your shirt on. They don't understand this--I have tried to explain that this is a conviction that we have because it makes my daughter very uncomfortable. Sometimes they comply and then sometimes they don't.

So why is it so important then? Simply because I do not want them to have to go through what I went through. I was a sexually active teenager from the age of 14 and it caused a WORLD of problems. When my mom would say you don't do this because I said so, I would do it anyway. Stephen and I want the kids to grow up with the right values regarding their bodies. So where does our information for our basis come from? The Bible of course! Here is a few of our rules regarding dating and purity:

  • First and foremost: You cannot have a girlfriend/boyfriend until you are sixteen. There simply is no reason to have one before that age. It is very hard to stay focused on what God wants for your life when your hormones are raging because of the opposite sex.
  • When you do choose a girlfriend/boyfriend, they must be a Christian. This is based on the verse 2nd Corinthians 6:14 (Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?) This is one of the most important dating rules of all times!
  • Once you decide that the person you want to date is a Christian, you must find out if their walk matches their talk. I have seen way to many people "say" that they are a Christian and then turn around and act the opposite of what a Christian should.
  • You must always keep yourself pure for when you get married. 1st Thessalonians 4:3 states (It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality).
Why do we teach the kids these things? We want them to live a pure and holy life for the Lord. We have been talking to Robert about this lately because he is beginning to show interest in girls. He will soon be fifteen ( I still can't believe it) and we want him to be able to think with his head for common sense and his heart with conviction for the Lord. It is so easy to get sucked into things that you would not normally do when hormones are raging.
I am really very proud of Robert. He has witnessed many relationships that have gone astray simply because one person was a believer and the other has not. He has witnessed several marriages crumble because God was not at the center. In fact, the other day, when he learned about another family member's marriage was over he made the remark--Mom, I want my marriage to last forever. I am going to take my vows before God and my wife seriously (music to a mother's heart).
Today, please teach your child the importance of purity and the importance of using the Bible for dating help and relationship guidelines. It will help them so very much when they are older. Take it from a former teen who wishes I would have know all this stuff growing up.
Jens siggy


Brandee said...

Jennifer, Oh I SOOO agree with you on this! I, like you, had relationships since I was 14 years old. I want to save my son the heartache of the baggage and knowing you did not do things God's way. It still affects my marriage today, but I am growing and praise the Lord we are new creations in Him, pure brides of Christ! He is our hope. I love your verses and you and your husband's outlook on this issue. I am going to write these down in my own journal for my son. He is only 5 but I know we will be there before I know it :)

God's best blessings,
Brandee, TN

~ Judy ~ said...

Thank you for this post. . . a MUCH needed topic.
I am amazed and happy at how the Lord has healed and led you in life Jennifer.
I wish that parents would pray more and truly discern the dating environment...there is so much danger for young souls...and until those souls reach adult age...PARENTS are culpable before the Lord for their wrong-doings...if we as parents, allow our children and teens to be in relationships that we KNOW are near occasions of sin for them...then WE must answer for that some day.
Thank you for enlightening us with your experiences and insight.