This weekend, I read a post on Amy Bayliss's blog. If you haven't read it, you should go here now and read it. Seriously. It was that thought provoking.
It just got me to thinking about all the STUFF I try to do in a day's time while my family is left to themselves. It makes me feel like the mother who doesn't care, or the wife who wants only her time.
I wrote Amy back and thanked her for sharing her heart about letting go of things that were burdening her down and keeping her from spending time with her family.
My question to you today is, What is keeping you from your family?
Is it the Internet, blogging, reading, church activities?
All those things are great and wonderful things, but ladies, our family is our first priority. Let's treat it like a priority and not like something that is a hindrance or a burden. I can promise you that if you treat it as such, the ones in your family will begin to feel like that.
This weekend, I unloaded on my family because I was just overwhelmed with trying to do everything. I took it out on them. Don't be like me and do this. It is harmful to your family's health.
Learn to let go.
Learn to breathe and just enjoy life.
Learn to laugh and not be so scheduled all the time.
These are the things that I am learning.
What are you learning today?
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Monday, August 23, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Whose Job Is It Anyway?
Something has been really bothering me the last few days. Since this is my blog, I thought I would address it here, just in case you may have some viewpoints on this topic as well.
I guess what has just got my blood to boiling is the fact that most of the kids in my neighborhood are raising themselves. The parents just don't seem to care anymore.
This is very saddening to me.
The day before yesterday, I had to go outside and be the referee to an argument that was going on between a couple of the boys that play with my kids. I sat them down and talked to them about their behavior while they are at my house. They both apologized and all was fine, but it just frustrates me.
Parents--PLEASE take your job seriously. It is not the school's responsibility or the church's responsibility to raise your kids! It is YOURS!
God gave each of us a charge the moment we realized we were with child. At that point, this special person that belongs to the Lord, was given to YOU to nurture and raise in the admonition of the Lord. From the moment we decided to become a parent, we were saying to God, "I can do this. I can be a parent." Does that mean we always do a great job? No! But what it does mean is that we strive to do our best for the Lord in caring for His creation.
Our kids are not to tend to themselves all the time so that we can go off and live our lives and party and just do "whatever." That life was given up when we became parents. Our job is to instruct them on how to live a life that is pleasing to the Lord. Kids NEED grownups who can share with them advice on how to be the person that will shape who they are in the future. They don't need friends. They have plenty of them What they need is a parent. They may not act like they want a grown ups advice, but deep down, they do. Trust me. I have talked to many kids who SOAK UP that interaction--when you pay special attention to them when they have a problem. They look for that guidance.
It is not the Youth Pastor's job to guide your children. It is not the teacher's job to guide your children. These people are there to HELP build upon what YOU, the parent, are teaching them.
I am not saying I have it all together, because frankly I don't. But Stephen and I have made a committment to our children and to each other to be there for them and to teach them until they leave the nest. We are not leaving anything to chance. We are not allowing the world to teach our children what we the parents are to teach them. Does this mean we coddle them and protect them from everything around them? Nope! It means we are the ones preparing them for whatever the world is going to throw at them. We are teaching them how the Lord would handle it.
Let's prepare our children to succeed in this generation that they are living.
What about you? Will you take this parenting challenge with me? Take the time today to sit down and talk with your child about what he needs from you, what she is not getting from you and build upon that.
I guess what has just got my blood to boiling is the fact that most of the kids in my neighborhood are raising themselves. The parents just don't seem to care anymore.
This is very saddening to me.
The day before yesterday, I had to go outside and be the referee to an argument that was going on between a couple of the boys that play with my kids. I sat them down and talked to them about their behavior while they are at my house. They both apologized and all was fine, but it just frustrates me.
Parents--PLEASE take your job seriously. It is not the school's responsibility or the church's responsibility to raise your kids! It is YOURS!
God gave each of us a charge the moment we realized we were with child. At that point, this special person that belongs to the Lord, was given to YOU to nurture and raise in the admonition of the Lord. From the moment we decided to become a parent, we were saying to God, "I can do this. I can be a parent." Does that mean we always do a great job? No! But what it does mean is that we strive to do our best for the Lord in caring for His creation.
Our kids are not to tend to themselves all the time so that we can go off and live our lives and party and just do "whatever." That life was given up when we became parents. Our job is to instruct them on how to live a life that is pleasing to the Lord. Kids NEED grownups who can share with them advice on how to be the person that will shape who they are in the future. They don't need friends. They have plenty of them What they need is a parent. They may not act like they want a grown ups advice, but deep down, they do. Trust me. I have talked to many kids who SOAK UP that interaction--when you pay special attention to them when they have a problem. They look for that guidance.
It is not the Youth Pastor's job to guide your children. It is not the teacher's job to guide your children. These people are there to HELP build upon what YOU, the parent, are teaching them.
I am not saying I have it all together, because frankly I don't. But Stephen and I have made a committment to our children and to each other to be there for them and to teach them until they leave the nest. We are not leaving anything to chance. We are not allowing the world to teach our children what we the parents are to teach them. Does this mean we coddle them and protect them from everything around them? Nope! It means we are the ones preparing them for whatever the world is going to throw at them. We are teaching them how the Lord would handle it.
Let's prepare our children to succeed in this generation that they are living.
What about you? Will you take this parenting challenge with me? Take the time today to sit down and talk with your child about what he needs from you, what she is not getting from you and build upon that.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
The Economics Professor
I got this in my email this week from my husband's friend and I love what it says. Hope you enjoy it as well!
An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama's socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.
The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama's plan".
All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A.
After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy.
As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.
The second test average was a D! No one was happy.
When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F. The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.
All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.
Could not be any simpler than that.
I love this email because I have a problem with not allowing our children to compete in competitions. Some that I know think that the "all should win" scenario is best, but I don't. How are kids going to learn that you don't always win at everything? I want my children to succeed at what they do, but I do not put false hope in them saying, "You are going to win--no one else can beat you", because frankly, that is lying to your child.
Someone may come along and beat them and win. Then they look at you and think, why did you lie to me? I simply tell my children to strive and do their best and in the end, if they are satisified with the results, then they have won already--whether they receive an award or not. We push for the winning position, but if it is not granted, we are not let down. I want them to try their hardest.
It's like Paul says in the Bible--we push on toward the prize. If prizes were not important, then why does it talk about running a race and winning a prize in the Bible? Even back then there was a reward for finishing and winning the race and that prize is Jesus. There was a goal--a mark--that we are to aim for. That is how I want my kids to view life as well!
The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama's plan".
All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A.
After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy.
As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.
The second test average was a D! No one was happy.
When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F. The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.
All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.
Could not be any simpler than that.
I love this email because I have a problem with not allowing our children to compete in competitions. Some that I know think that the "all should win" scenario is best, but I don't. How are kids going to learn that you don't always win at everything? I want my children to succeed at what they do, but I do not put false hope in them saying, "You are going to win--no one else can beat you", because frankly, that is lying to your child.
Someone may come along and beat them and win. Then they look at you and think, why did you lie to me? I simply tell my children to strive and do their best and in the end, if they are satisified with the results, then they have won already--whether they receive an award or not. We push for the winning position, but if it is not granted, we are not let down. I want them to try their hardest.
It's like Paul says in the Bible--we push on toward the prize. If prizes were not important, then why does it talk about running a race and winning a prize in the Bible? Even back then there was a reward for finishing and winning the race and that prize is Jesus. There was a goal--a mark--that we are to aim for. That is how I want my kids to view life as well!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Raising a Godly Daughter in Today's Society
At the Well today, we are talking about raising up our daughters in today's society. Sometimes I get scared thinking about how I was a young girl. I don't ever want my daughter growing up that way. Granted, she has a much better chance of growing up having a decent background because Stephen and I have been Christians since she was about a year old. She has grown up knowing what God expects of us in our behavior and attitude. But just knowing. . . is that enough?
To be honest, I think that just knowing about it is not enough. I know plenty of girls who are young women who go to church, but yet, outside of church, you would never know that they loved the Lord. As parents, it is our responsibility to set the example for them, to show them how a true virtuous woman of the Lord should conduct themselves.
I am making that a HUGE priority in the life of my daughter. I don't stand over her saying every day, "you can't wear that", "you can't listen to that", "you can't watch that", "that friend of yours doesn't have the best morals--choose another best friend". No, I don't have to stand over saying these things, simply because she looks at how I live my life. She tries to model who I am. She sees how I strive to live a pleasing life to the Lord. She wants a life like that.
1st Corinthians 11:1 says "Follow my example as I follow the example of Christ". That is how we are to teach the young women in our lives. We can preach at them all day long, but if our walk does not match our talk, then it will all be in vain. They must see us modeling this in our own lives in order for them to take seriously what we are trying to portray.
My daughter does not see me being unkind to my husband in any way. I want her to grow up with a respect and reverance for her husband that most women do not display today. The only way I can really teach her this is by example.
So what are you teaching your daughter today? Are you telling her one thing, but your actions say something else? If so, re-evaulate what you do, and make sure that the two line up. One of my favorite sayings is this: " A sermon in action speaks louder words than anything that can be said behind a pulpit".
Teach your daughter to love God, love others, and love herself with the love of Christ. It will make all the difference in the world.
To be honest, I think that just knowing about it is not enough. I know plenty of girls who are young women who go to church, but yet, outside of church, you would never know that they loved the Lord. As parents, it is our responsibility to set the example for them, to show them how a true virtuous woman of the Lord should conduct themselves.
I am making that a HUGE priority in the life of my daughter. I don't stand over her saying every day, "you can't wear that", "you can't listen to that", "you can't watch that", "that friend of yours doesn't have the best morals--choose another best friend". No, I don't have to stand over saying these things, simply because she looks at how I live my life. She tries to model who I am. She sees how I strive to live a pleasing life to the Lord. She wants a life like that.
1st Corinthians 11:1 says "Follow my example as I follow the example of Christ". That is how we are to teach the young women in our lives. We can preach at them all day long, but if our walk does not match our talk, then it will all be in vain. They must see us modeling this in our own lives in order for them to take seriously what we are trying to portray.
My daughter does not see me being unkind to my husband in any way. I want her to grow up with a respect and reverance for her husband that most women do not display today. The only way I can really teach her this is by example.
So what are you teaching your daughter today? Are you telling her one thing, but your actions say something else? If so, re-evaulate what you do, and make sure that the two line up. One of my favorite sayings is this: " A sermon in action speaks louder words than anything that can be said behind a pulpit".
Teach your daughter to love God, love others, and love herself with the love of Christ. It will make all the difference in the world.
Friday, October 2, 2009
The Importance of Purity~ My Random Thoughts
With a teenage boy in the home and a pre-teen girl on his heels, I have become convicted and concerned about teaching them both the importance of purity. In today's society most kids do not even take purity seriously anymore. The more skin you show, the more popular you are, right? WRONG!
I have been watching some of the kids in my neighborhood recently and how they portray themselves. I have had to pull a couple of them aside and talk with them and their behavior (one was showing his "part" to the world--and he is 14). I am totally amazed at how parents allow this kind of behavior to go on! What is wrong with society nowadays?
We are trying our hardest to raise Robert and Kayla to respect their bodies, but also the bodies of the opposite sex as well. When boys come over to play, my one rule is--if the girls are outside playing, please keep your shirt on. They don't understand this--I have tried to explain that this is a conviction that we have because it makes my daughter very uncomfortable. Sometimes they comply and then sometimes they don't.
So why is it so important then? Simply because I do not want them to have to go through what I went through. I was a sexually active teenager from the age of 14 and it caused a WORLD of problems. When my mom would say you don't do this because I said so, I would do it anyway. Stephen and I want the kids to grow up with the right values regarding their bodies. So where does our information for our basis come from? The Bible of course! Here is a few of our rules regarding dating and purity:
I am really very proud of Robert. He has witnessed many relationships that have gone astray simply because one person was a believer and the other has not. He has witnessed several marriages crumble because God was not at the center. In fact, the other day, when he learned about another family member's marriage was over he made the remark--Mom, I want my marriage to last forever. I am going to take my vows before God and my wife seriously (music to a mother's heart).
Today, please teach your child the importance of purity and the importance of using the Bible for dating help and relationship guidelines. It will help them so very much when they are older. Take it from a former teen who wishes I would have know all this stuff growing up.
I have been watching some of the kids in my neighborhood recently and how they portray themselves. I have had to pull a couple of them aside and talk with them and their behavior (one was showing his "part" to the world--and he is 14). I am totally amazed at how parents allow this kind of behavior to go on! What is wrong with society nowadays?
We are trying our hardest to raise Robert and Kayla to respect their bodies, but also the bodies of the opposite sex as well. When boys come over to play, my one rule is--if the girls are outside playing, please keep your shirt on. They don't understand this--I have tried to explain that this is a conviction that we have because it makes my daughter very uncomfortable. Sometimes they comply and then sometimes they don't.
So why is it so important then? Simply because I do not want them to have to go through what I went through. I was a sexually active teenager from the age of 14 and it caused a WORLD of problems. When my mom would say you don't do this because I said so, I would do it anyway. Stephen and I want the kids to grow up with the right values regarding their bodies. So where does our information for our basis come from? The Bible of course! Here is a few of our rules regarding dating and purity:
- First and foremost: You cannot have a girlfriend/boyfriend until you are sixteen. There simply is no reason to have one before that age. It is very hard to stay focused on what God wants for your life when your hormones are raging because of the opposite sex.
- When you do choose a girlfriend/boyfriend, they must be a Christian. This is based on the verse 2nd Corinthians 6:14 (Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?) This is one of the most important dating rules of all times!
- Once you decide that the person you want to date is a Christian, you must find out if their walk matches their talk. I have seen way to many people "say" that they are a Christian and then turn around and act the opposite of what a Christian should.
- You must always keep yourself pure for when you get married. 1st Thessalonians 4:3 states (It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality).
I am really very proud of Robert. He has witnessed many relationships that have gone astray simply because one person was a believer and the other has not. He has witnessed several marriages crumble because God was not at the center. In fact, the other day, when he learned about another family member's marriage was over he made the remark--Mom, I want my marriage to last forever. I am going to take my vows before God and my wife seriously (music to a mother's heart).
Today, please teach your child the importance of purity and the importance of using the Bible for dating help and relationship guidelines. It will help them so very much when they are older. Take it from a former teen who wishes I would have know all this stuff growing up.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
This week as we were driving down the road to go to the grocery store, some nut cut us off and my daughter screams out, "hey you moron, what the heck do you think you're doing? Don't you see us driving here?"
I was kind of taken back at her response because that just does not sound like her. I scolded her for her words and then she hit me with a statement that caused me much grief. She said. . . "Well mom, you do it all the time."
(can you see the Louisville Slugger imprint on my forehead yet? Just take a closer look and you will see it loud and clear!)
God has been trying to for some time now to get my attention about how I present myself to my children. I am an honest Christian woman who loves God with all her heart, BUT I have a serious problem with getting mad at people who just do not know how to drive. I never expected in a million years for it to rub off on my children. . . but it did.
Proverbs 28:18 states it so well: He whose walk is blameless is kept safe, but he whose ways are perverse will suddenly fall.
I can walk in the Lord and be blameless before Him and my children or I can choose the world's way of handling it and fall suddenly. I want to set a good example for my kids. I want them to see me choosing the correct way to handle a situation, not the incorrect way.
Today as I write this I realize that there is so much I need to ask God to forgive me for and then begin today showing my children how a blameless Christian walks before the Lord. . . in every area of their life!
What has God been showing you lately that you need to work on? Be sure that you are not telling your children to do something that you yourself are not doing.
This post is linked to Gathering at the well.
I was kind of taken back at her response because that just does not sound like her. I scolded her for her words and then she hit me with a statement that caused me much grief. She said. . . "Well mom, you do it all the time."
(can you see the Louisville Slugger imprint on my forehead yet? Just take a closer look and you will see it loud and clear!)
God has been trying to for some time now to get my attention about how I present myself to my children. I am an honest Christian woman who loves God with all her heart, BUT I have a serious problem with getting mad at people who just do not know how to drive. I never expected in a million years for it to rub off on my children. . . but it did.
Proverbs 28:18 states it so well: He whose walk is blameless is kept safe, but he whose ways are perverse will suddenly fall.
I can walk in the Lord and be blameless before Him and my children or I can choose the world's way of handling it and fall suddenly. I want to set a good example for my kids. I want them to see me choosing the correct way to handle a situation, not the incorrect way.
Today as I write this I realize that there is so much I need to ask God to forgive me for and then begin today showing my children how a blameless Christian walks before the Lord. . . in every area of their life!
What has God been showing you lately that you need to work on? Be sure that you are not telling your children to do something that you yourself are not doing.
This post is linked to Gathering at the well.
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